Monday, November 23, 2009


My God! Has it been that long?
And since when did Christmas fall on December 25th???
Well, hell. LOL

I'm doing fantastic, thanks for asking.
Red Dirt was a lot of fun though I didn't enjoy my co-panelists nearly as much as I had in comparison to the previous panel. Rather an odd sort of jumble up, in my opinion.
But I made it through and enjoyed the audience so that's all good.

Work is freakin' ridiculous right now. Scheduling mishaps. People coming and going. Shorthanded. I always think this will change, and it never does. Suppose I should resign myself to some of it. Other parts? I'll keep rebelling against. How can you employ someone so worthless and pay them a good wage to do absolutely nothing??? In fact, they work harder at NOT working than actually doing something.
Makes me ill.
Also...what's the issue with all this secret shit? Seriously? Have I transferred to the CIA and was just previously unaware of said fact?
You would think that this place houses either the KFC recipe or perhaps the COKE one. There is absolutely NO communication of importance between the three factions. Tensions run high. So instead of working together, it's an occupational clusterfuck. Just a waste of time and energy. It's a job for criminey sake!!!

Personally...*grins*...I couldn't be much happier. Finally found someone who is so extremely wonderful that I have to pinch myself. Crazy, huh? I realize in hindsight that I settled with the last person. But no more for me, thanks. This girl isn't stupid. I know when I have a good thing. And I!!!
Someone who is considerate of my girls and myself. Who will let me be me and likes me (smartass issues...other issues...and ALL!). Wonders never cease.
Sad thing being that parts of it make me uncomfortable because I am SO unused to such a precious person. But I'm also intelligent enough to realize that it just takes time for me to unlearn all the shit piled on me before and truly embrace myself and this person for who we are. And who we are together.
Have a great Thanksgiving holiday!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's an honest mistake

I take it back. Every Middle Chicken story I've shared thus far pales in comparison to the one I'm about to share that happened last night. Hopefully I won't wet myself in the retelling.
*deep breath*
The girls came home yesterday evening in "picking on each other" mode. Giving each other hell. So on and so forth.
Oldest Chicken looked over at Middle Chicken and said, "A stupid says what?"
Well, of course, that's MC's turn to say "What?" Because you know OC said it so quick, that's the first thing out of your mouth when you don't quite hear something.
Well, I snicker and explain that it's been done before by Wayne off Wayne's World (Saturday Night Live skits, of course. And movie fame). You know...when Wayne and Garth would broadcast from the basement and worship Aerosmith? Yeah. Like that.
But Wayne would always say, "A sphincter says what?" At which point in time, Garth would come up with the "What?" *cue audience laughter*
So I pop off with the story of how Wayne would say, "A sphincter says what?"
And MC looks at me (we're all laying on my bed) and says, "What's a sphincter? Doesn't that have to do with Math?"
Needless to say...I laughed. I explained (after some loud laughter) that no, it most certainly had nothing to do with Math. Then I educated her.
She frowns and says, "No wonder my math teacher walked away when I asked him if I needed a sphincter to solve the problem."
I am totally incapacitated at this point. Tears are streaming from my eyes, and I've adopted the fetal position on my bed. I can't even imagine how the teacher held it together.
I can't even get the next question out. Luckily, OC does it for me.
She looks at her sister and asks, "What did you mean to say?"
MC says, "You know. Those little half circle things?" She makes motions with her hands.
I'm still sucking air like a fish out of water and trying hard not to pass out.
I finally gasp, "You mean a protractor?"
MC nods. And that's all she wrote. I totally lost it. I thought I was going to have to take a hit off OC's inhaler. I swear to God.
MC waits for the commotion to die down and says, "It's an honest mistake."
And that, I told her, was what I was going to title the blog.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Turning it around

First off, I want to tell the members of my BB (Tammy, Jill, and Deb)...I love you, guys! They offered to do bodily harm to someone who lied to me and/or set the liar's bike on fire. Sweet, huh? lmao
But I've moved past that.
Had a date last night. A good date. *smile* Dinner. Bookstore. DVDs. An all-around good time. With a lovely individual who makes me think AND laugh. Hell of a combination. Rare, too. *grins*
Work *shrug*
Wearing me down of late. The ulcer has been flaring. Gee, I wonder why. But hopefully that will also settle soon. *fingers crossed*
It's a beautiful Saturday where I've cleaned the house and am now settling in a for a bit for the evening. Making some supper. Popping in a DVD.
That's new and different, too.
So things change when you hang in there long enough to let them. And while I can be Miss Impatient, sometimes the really good things are those worth waiting for. *smile*

Church tomorrow. Red Dirt Festival November 5th. If you're in or around Shawnee, Oklahoma during that time, swing by and see me! More details later.
Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

One fall away from a hip replacement OR How I spent my Saturday

Went rollerskating with the chickies Saturday. It was extremely nice because there were few people there. And I can honestly say I was the oldest on skates. *grins*
I remember learning to skate and then wearing myself out every weekend at the local rink here. It had a wooden floor. It was small. But my God, it was like coming home. My sister and I lived about four blocks from it, and Mom would loosen up the leash just enough so she would let us walk it.
We would skate until our feet would blister. The pure bliss. The freedom. The um, bruises. lmao

My concern in taking on this massive (pure concrete) roller rink was not breaking a hip (give me two more decades for that one). Oh no. It was falling in the bathroom on said concrete floor and bleeding out before anyone knew I was gone. LOL
(I'm only halfway kidding.)
Luckily, I didn't fall once. Which I am eternally grateful for. Because, as one of my children put it, I'm old and brittle. *shakes head* I believe I may have smacked her. It's all blurry, and I plead the fifth.
Bottom line?
It was a fantastic damn day. And I worked out muscles that haven't seen that type of workout in far too long. *smile*
Now. If I can just bring myself to pop the gigantic blister on my right foot. Because there's a return trip in our future.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Hello, my lovelies!!!

I'm back.
My God! A MONTH since my last blog???
Well. Things have been crazy here. The emotional rollercoaster continues. But now I feel as though I'm finding some even ground to step upon. Unlike the jacked-up road of previous blogs.
It's Friday.
Let's start there. I couldn't be happier with that, quite frankly. Of course, I still work with those that find work optional here. That remains irritating and uber old. But it won't change now, will it?
Highly doubtful.
So I persevere.
I'm going out tonight after work. Meeting some new friends. Giving that a go this evening. That may be the only thing that gets me through this day.
Found out some hard truths about myself.
It's that damn "all or nothing" personality. *grins*
I will go above and beyond in a relationship. And now I see that the person I'm trying to relationship with...sees that. And usually (God help me) uses it. So I'm done bending over backwards, forwards, and sideways for those I may be interested in.
Man up. Move on.
Those are your two options. Treat me right or beat feet. *shrug*
Who needs someone who sees you as an option, anyway?
Not I.
Let's see...what else?
All the girls' birthdays are this month. One down. Two to go. And they will be (drumroll, please)...Fourteen, Fifteen, and Sixteen.
And yes...I AM old. lmao
Deal with it.
How am I feeling about it and life in general?
Much better, thanks for asking.
I'll try to do better with the blogging.
Have a great weekend!
I will.

Friday, September 25, 2009


That sums it up, nicely.
No, my dearest Lyvvie, I haven't fallen in love. Or been blessed in that way in any way, shape, or form.
I have had to readjust my schedule for people who don't give a flying fuck, move out of my four bedroom house into a two bedroom house, and (I swear to God it feels like) carry the weight of the world on my two shoulders.
Also, my Grandma Bell passed away.
Um, not so much.
Thought I'd give the dating thing a go.
That would be nice if both of us were interested in that. I'm apparently an option. And until that changes, done there. Can't be the only one who gives a flip.
I've basically moved my entire house myself. It's all kinds of fun when a one-way trip is half an hour.
One would think I'm bitter. One would be wrong. I'm simply numb to it.
Will I break? Oh sure. Any minute now. When I have time. When I can honestly sit down, or stand up, or walk...and just say...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???
Not there yet.
Feel as though the creative part of me is screaming to get out. I have no place to put it right now. And that saddens me a great deal.
And I keep putting misplaced faith in those around me. Color me naive, I suppose.
Oh damn well.
Doesn't seem to bother them much. Wonder why it does me?
Ah, that's right.
Because I believe I'm a decent person. Who deserves a chance.
Spread the word.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Unwind Me

I'm seeing someone. And this person's favorite thing to say to me is..."You're wound too tight."
Um, ya think?
What was your first clue, dearest?
And if it bothers you SO damn much, then work on that. K?
I'm wound tight for several reasons. Not the least of which is that I have to move in the next couple of weeks. I can't take my pets. My bills are just freakin' crazy right now. I have NO down time. Work is inhaling on a daily basis. My kids HATE their new school. My oldest hates everything. The time I spent commuting to and from work is now spent commuting with my children which makes my eye twitch, God love them.
So...wound tight?
Instead of reminding me on a daily basis of my extremely stressed out life, why don't you do something to HELP the situation?
I have several suggestions.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A nice twist off to start the academic year

I enrolled my children four damn days. I burned two and a half days of vacation only to be told on the first day of school ( at BOTH schools) that my beloved chickens had no paperwork.
That's utterly impossible, right? RIGHT?
Guess not.
So I spend two hours Wednesday at the high school enrolling two older chickens. And one damn hour at the middle school enrolling baby chicken.
How pissed off was I?
Are you fucking kidding me???
So on a day that I would normally (in a perfect world) sleep in, I was up at 6:45 am running around like a crazy woman at the mercy of other individuals' whims.
Color me displeased.
Good news? Today is the SECOND day of school. I've received no phone calls. (Knock on wood) And I may just live to see this weekend. Jury is still out, but I have high hopes.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Working for the weekend

I cannot damn wait. *grins*
Spending the entire weekend with a friend. Friday through Monday. We're going on a Poker Run Saturday which ought to be all kinds of fun. My God! Is there anything better than being on the back of a bike going 70 mph with the wind rushing at you?
Well, there are SOME things. lmaooooooooo
So my weekend is booked which rocks my socks. The girls are going camping until Sunday. Then the four of us will go back over to my friend's house and spend the night Sunday. Ought to be one hell of a good time.
Girls start school next week. Thank God.
Picking up a new cell phone Friday because my old one sucked ass. So that will be nice not to have to worry about having any issues with the new one.
It's a whole new world, people.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When the timing sucks ass

I may live in Oklahoma, but lately I've been wondering around in the state of Confusion. You know, just when you think things are looking up, life is moving right along...bullshit. Utter bullshit.
I have to do a bit of a readjustment and rock on. But it bothers the hell out of me. Why, for the love of all that's good and holy, cannot the stars just freakin' line up? WHY???
Fuck limbo land. Stop the ride. I want to get off.
I'm not wholly a black and white person. Don't get me wrong. I have shades of gray. Everyone should. But I can't LIVE in the gray. Doesn't work for me. It makes me absolutely crazy to try like hell for a result only to be disappointed. Then...later...the solution I offered up previously all of a sudden works.
My God. I want to come unhinged. *tightening my hinges, just in case*

I ascribe to the philosophy of being exactly where I need to be. In this moment with fallacies and foibles. Fuck ups and flip outs.
But sometimes, really. I just think the timing sucks ass.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Middle ground? Not hardly.

It's been over a week since my last blog. *hangs head in shame*
I think this is actually going to be the norm. Who has time?
Well. Life keeps throwing me curveballs. Found out I have to move by the middle of September because our landlord sold his house and needs someplace to stay while he builds another. I'm trying REALLY hard not to be bitter. I have NO house. He has two. *sigh*
But I will find something in another school district and uproot the girls one more time. That's my biggest issue. If it were just what? No biggie, right? But it's the girls. And another fucking school. And it'll be a smaller house. Higher rent. I'm just thinking...My God. What the hell else could twist me a little tighter???
As for the upside...I went on a motorcycle run Saturday. *GRINS*
Yeah. Me. Riding on the back of a motorcycle with my new little beanie keeping the blond curls up out of my face. (The older I get, the grayer I get, the blonder I get. By the time I'm forty, I'll have Marilyn Monroe hair.) And it was so much freakin' fun that I can't even quite put it into words. But I loved it. Absolutely loved it.
Sunday was a movie and cookout. My friends actually BROUGHT a grill to my house to cookout. lmao
Because, um, I don't have one. lol *shakes head*
But it was a nice little weekend. I usually don't do anything. This last one, on the other hand, was quite full.
So there you have it.
High ups. Low downs. Nothing much in the middle road happening right now. I'm either smiling or wanting to cry.
*eye roll*

Friday, July 24, 2009

For tomorrow

Saturday, Jul 25th, 2009 -- You feel the sweetness of your life increasing and it makes you smile, but you have to face an important issue before you can enjoy yourself. You may have fears about love or about someone criticizing you and playing these old tapes could get in the way of an opportunity to deepen a current relationship. Don't be concerned now with something that happened in the past, for it need not cast its shadow in the present.
Lovely advice.
I believe I'll take it.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Tales from the couchside

TV? Hell, who needs TV?

We watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince last weekend. Excellent movie. Go see it! So we're all laying about the other evening in the living room. I'm sprawled on the couch. Two girls are in single chairs. One sitting on the floor. And I'm tired. Please keep this in mind.
OC and MC were talking to each other (i.e. giving each other shit about everything under the sun), and I would pop in my opinion from the couch. Then I would pull my invisibility cloak *snickering* over me and pretend I hadn't said anything.
Yes. The answer to your question is: Crystal is simple when she doesn't sleep. K?
OC finds it amusing. MC rolls her eyes. (She's rather good at that.) So OC was encouraging me, and we were laughing and whatnot. And MC pops off with the suggestion that I need professional help, and she doesn't see what's so funny, anyway. This is followed by another eye roll. Then she proceeds to announce that she doesn't "speak" Star Trek or Star Wars. She leans forward into OC's personal space, and OC says, "Back off, Princess Leia."
And that was it.
The couch and I almost parted ways. lmao
It went rapidly downhill from there.
Good times at the house.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Egocentric much?

I'm surrounded by people who are so fucking selfish, I'd like to give them a complete personality overhaul. Or perhaps a frontal lobotomy. I'm SO not picky at this juncture.
What's it like to have the world revolve around you? Please tell me. Or be so damn lazy that you foist your duties on someone else because you just don't feel like it? Or direct someone else's traffic when you can't fucking handle your own?
What's that like? Because I haven't a clue.
Get a damn grip. Grow the hell up.
And let me tell you this: You're miserable. I choose not to be.
So get over yourself. Because guess what? I already have.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Two minutes is an eternity

I'm going to finish a half marathon next year.

Take that in for a minute. I currently don't own a pair of tennis shoes and haven't since the house fire. I had to buy boots for work since it was winter. Then I bought sandals in the spring. And flip flops because they are my shoe apparel of choice.
I don't OWN tennis shoes. So that's on my to-do list.
So. What prompted this? Part is because I've recently begun talking to a friend who runs. And it sparked me. I've DREAMED of running.
But I'm not a small girl. I've got boobs and hips. I'm researching what bra to buy so that the girls don't knock me out. Ya know. And I'm reading books about training and diet and all sorts of things that I never dreamed of researching.
I am freakin' excited.
My girls are incredulous, and dare I say, non-believers.
But they should know better than to bet against the Mama.
I'm checking everything out right now. Mapping it out in my head before I lace up my nonexistent tennies. Getting a feel for it. But I'm going to do it.
Progress as it warrants.
I'm still in the planning stages.
And by the way...2 minutes is one of the first things you do when alternating between the running and walking. LOL
I used my stopwatch on my cell and almost stroked out. Who knew 120 seconds could be so long? lmao

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Too Late To Apologize

Not only is this a kickin' song, it's a type of mantra for writers. Once your lovely book is released unto the masses, watch out. Some will love it. Some will hate it. Some won't bother to give a shit and will post your literary baby on eBay as quickly as possible.
I read "If There Be Dragons" by Kay Hooper this last weekend. It sucked. Verily.
I've read some of Kay Hooper's other work. Her psychic/detective works. And I liked them for the most part though some are bland. But this book? A waste of my time and the pages it was printed on.
There was no conflict. I would have more conflict if I opened the medicine cabinet, eyeballed my nail polish, and couldn't decide between red and blue. (By the way, RED always wins)
But I digress.
Writers will not always make readers happy. Period. And readers will not always stroke the writer's ego and exclaim at what a beautiful piece of work was written.
Just doesn't happen.
But when you come across something truly atrocious, should the writer bow his/her head and mea culpa you to death?
Hell no.
A work by any author stands when it's published. Whether it remains standing or falls all to hell is, unfortunately, up to general populace.
I have auto buys, though admittedly very few. And when I get a book that makes me throw up a bit in my mouth, I put it down and move on. Or I post a snarky blog such as this. Then I'm good.
If, however, heaven forbid, I stumble across a rant by a reader about one of my books, will I stop and apologize?
You're kidding, right?
If a book is horrifically put together, I wouldn't let it be published. Not going to happen. The only reason I could even fathom someone having an issue with it would be content. And isn't that too damn bad for those who don't have the honor of debating with me what will or will not reside in my work of fiction?
Take a number. Form a line. Get comfortable.
So even though I have come across some truly horrid pieces of fiction and non-fiction, that's okay by me.
Writing is subjective. Reading is subjective.
Thank God.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Raising Romantics

I came across the 50th Anniversary Edition of An Affair to Remember. My God. I LOVE this movie. Watched it when I was much smaller with my Mom. Watched it last night with two of the chickens. (Oldest is in San Antonio with Upward Bound)
Before we even popped it in, MC looked at me and asked if it had a "happy ending." I smiled and said yes.
In it went.
Just in case you've NEVER seen this movie. And if you haven't...shame on you!!! *laughing*

When our two lovers returned to "normal life" and then made a pact to meet at the Empire State Building, one doesn't make it. In fact, she is looking up, and a car hits her.
My BC looks at me in horror and says, "What kind of movie IS this???"
Or when Cary Grant's sweet elderly grandmother passes. Once again....shock and dismay. But it's pivotal to the story.
In the end, though, that's the beauty of it. Two people meant to be together overcoming all odds.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Chicken Wing damaged

Went to pick up Oldest from Upward Bound. It was the last day Tuesday. And what should I find but OC with a jacked-up wing. *sigh*
Apparently a friend went to shut her dorm door (with a good swift kick) and didn't note my Oldest Chicken's wing in the way.
Alas, not a good thing.
So we spent yesterday morning in Urgent Care. Nothing broke, thank goodness. But she's on some pain pills and resting. Deep muscle bruise, and it looks like hell.
On a related note, they have camo wrap at the Dollar Store. It's pimptastic. *grins*
Makes even a sore arm look stylish.

We're closed Saturday which is fine. *shrugs* I have that day off, anyway. But the upside being that I can take my 8 hour comp some other time. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I can't freakin' wait.

Life is just bipping along. Reading some books when I have time. Watching my grass die a slow painful death. And wishing for Summer Reading Programs to get the hell over with.
How's about you?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Revolving Door Relationships

I don't get it.
But I guess my girls' generation is a hell of a lot different than ours. It seems to be the "Revolving Door Relationship" Mode.
I found out Oldest Chicken "loved" someone via her MySpace. (She's at Upward Bound, folks. Living in a dorm. All week. Don't judge. lmao) I'm like...who the HELL are you talking about? Then she told me. And approximately two minutes ago, I received a text that said they broke up.

Then there is a teenage girl I know who can give new meaning to the term "hit it and quit it."
And that's sad. Ya know?

What is WRONG with having a serious and stable relationship? Nothing, I would think. And I realize the chickies are relatively young. But if you can't find the value in one of these relationships, then how the hell will you find it when it really means something? HMMM???

I think it's tragic. I think it's quite fucked up, actually. Love yourself. Then open yourself up to someone else. Not another someone else. Then someone after that. And his/her friend. So on and so forth.

And if you DON'T click...then by GOD--don't get with them in the first place. You've devalued yourself, them, and the whole shebang.

A revolving door just spins around and goes nowhere. You have to learn when to get off. And if it's not going where you want it to go, then don't get on the damn thing to begin with.


SEND PRECIP! And some hot cabana boys with fans!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Whip Me

With something soft, please. LOL
Haven't blogged in it feels like forever. Bad, bad me.
But summertime is hell on earth at work. I don't have time to think much less jot down something witty (if I'm lucky).
But I've wanted to blog about two movies I watched last weekend. Yeah, it's been awhile. I know.
*scuffing toe*
And holy crap. I just realized I can't remember what the other one was. Geez. Having a moment here. Maybe it'll come back to me.
Maybe not.
Anyway...."He's Just Not That Into You."
Didn't think I'd like it. But I loved the hell out of it. Some important lessons from the movie:
1. Don't stalk people
2. Don't invite a third into a relationship. Especially if you get horizontal with the third.
3. Don't screw your wife while your mistress waits half-dressed in the closet.
4. Denial sucks ass.
5. Waiting for the right one, no matter the roadblocks and bullshit, is key.
6. When you least expect it, you'll find someone.
7. Women lie to other women to make them feel good.
8. And sometimes, baby, he or she is just not that into you.

I didn't think I'd like it as much as I did. Great ensemble cast. Good storylines.
And totally off the subject: John Cusack rocks. I'm just saying. He deserves two thumbs up for his portrayal of romantic leads. I just love him. Finally watched "Must Love Dogs" and laughed. It was witty and clever and had John Cusack. I don't need much else.
OH! And "Serendipity". It's rather dated, I suppose. But still good. Once again, John Cusack.
Don't know what's on the movie list for this weekend.
Could it be.............John Cusack?

Friday, June 05, 2009

Why yes. I have been neglectful. LOL

Sorry!!! LOL
This week has been hell as I previously predicted. My God! Our numbers are about twice what they usually are. So I've been dragging my ass to work and home again. And time for blogging? Are you freakin' kidding me??? Unfortunately...not so much.
But I thought I'd give it a go since I'll be gone all weekend.

Pick up the Oldest Chicken today at four. I can't WAIT!!! I missed her so. And the little chickenlips will probably sleep all damn weekend. That's how she rolls. lmao
My other two have been pretty good, I gotta admit. But when the Mama picks up the Green Apple Smirnovs on Monday-I think they know what that means. LMAO
It's such a rarity. And it was all I could do to plod home, I swear to you.

Today's a bit better, thank goodness. And the extra perk is that it's Friday. Picked up a couple of movies for the weekend since it's going to be hotter than hell here. Mid-nineties they're saying. pft
Hello air conditioner and couch. Though I will lay out probably both days. Grab me a book and sun myself.
Can't wait.

And this summer finds us reading. A lot. Three out of four days this week has been all three of us sitting in the living room reading something or other. MC reads magazines and Teen stuffs. BC reads the Sequoyah Masterlist. And me? I read whatever I can get my hands on. It's nice. Can't even remember the last time I turned the television on. I think that's good. *grins*

Going to kick back tomorrow. Possibly go to a new friend's birthday party. Exercise. Tan. And Sunday will find me doing a big bunch of nothing, I'm pretty sure. I need to clean the house, but I'm not quite feeling it. Ya know?
Have a great one!!!

Monday, June 01, 2009

First Monday of Summer

It's going to be a long one. It's Summer Reading Program sign-up here at ye olde library. And the kids? They are many. LOL
Therefore, the workload shall be extreme.
In conclusion, I will have the rare sour apple smirnov after work (possibly two) and try to cleanse this day from my psyche.
It is the ONLY plan.

Ordered the latest Fablehaven book and got it in Saturday. Probably going to put my feet up this evening and give it a go.
I found myself gravitating back toward the teen books. This ought to be a good one. I've enjoyed the rest so far.
Read maybe half a dozen books over the weekend.
Dropped Oldest Chicken off at her dorm. Haven't turned the TV on in maybe three months or so. Evenings find me and the chickens at different spots in the living room with reading material.
Maybe I'll survive summer after all.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Bits and pieces

It's the boob crack.

I've blogged about the infamous boob crack before, but it's been many moons. I refer, of course, to the crack between the breasts in the cleavage area. Ya know?
One of the girls coined the term. More than likely--Middle Chicken. *grins*
I like my cleavage, thankyouverymuch. I do NOT, however, enjoy dropping popcorn, chex mix, or WHATEVER down there. Yeah, I know. Hit my mouth, and there wouldn't be a problem. But really, that's not all there is to it. I swear to God. There is a magnet of some type down there that I am unaware of. Stuff just WANTS to go down there. Geez.
Highly annoying.

Moving on.

I cannot WAIT to bake myself tomorrow at the pool. CANNOT. WAIT. The girls can wear themselves out. I just checked out two more paperbacks and am lovin' it.
Also, it's that time again. Sno Cones!!! *dancing* The girls and I have been getting sno cones from the same place for over a decade. And we'll be snagging some sugary ice this weekend. I'm all for the Pink Lemonade. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Oh, and way off the subject, the person (s) from Saint Paul that keeps visiting my lovely blog--Drop me a line. I don't bite.
Well. *grins* Hardly, at any rate.

Going to be a busy weekend, my friends. I hope you and yours enjoy the hell out of it.
I know I will.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Unbeknownst to me, my favorite pajama pants (cute little penguins on pink fabric) developed a rip in them. Um...not a small one. So when I got off the couch to go get a drink, I mooned my children. lmao
Both cheeks.
Amusement abounds.

My girls have taken to watching me exercise because they are complete buttheads. There is main chickie (the evil blond bitch) then four back-up chickies. One, in particular, messes up more often than not. In fact, there is a spot where she completely loses all of it. The girls have now dubbed her "crash and burn girl."

I got a request for another partial from a REALLY good agent. *grins*

Yesterday was PURE hell. Not diluted, mind you. It was complete and utter horrificness packaged nicely into my work day. My eye has already begun to twitch. Thus begins summer.

I don't understand some people. I honestly don't. I think that if there were a way to circumvent a clusterfuck, one would take it. *shrug* Maybe that's just me.

Going to try and go to the water park again this weekend. Last Saturday was a washout. I did, however, lay out Monday. LOVE the sun on my skin. Several years down the We shall see. lmao

Move Oldest Chicken into the dorms for Upward Bound Sunday. Don't know what I'm going to do for entertainment Monday through Friday now. One of the other chickens (or both) must step up. Plans are in progress.

Life is good.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Promised Pictures

My promoting baby, Middle Chicken AKA Chrystan

Middle Chicken, Oldest Chicken, and Baby Chicken
You see that look? That nice glare Middle Chicken
has going on? *grins* That's from me.
(Chrystan, Caitlin, and Cara)

Middle Chicken, Rannie, and Tamra

Oldest Chicken and Baby Chicken

Middle Chicken

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Middle Chicken moves on

I remember pushing her out, and the nurse laying her naked little body on my chest. What big eyes she had.

I remember pulling her little red hair up on top of her head like a mini-waterfall and calling her Pebbles. But she was cuter.

I remember her crooked grin and quiet demeanor. She was the only one of the girls who could play by herself.

I remember the local paper taking a picture of her while she walked down the stairs to the Kindergarten Christmas program in all her green velvet glory. She smiled shyly for the camera.

I remember working all night on a Science Fair Project about gum with her. She says the teacher picked the subject, but I really think she just wanted to see how many flavors of gum Mom would pick up.

I remember when she broke her arm playing in the yard with her sisters and Joe. I cried when they had to set the cast because she cried.

I remember driving in the car in complete silence. Then I would meet her stare in the mirror. She would laugh. I would laugh. About absolutely nothing.

I remember her telling me that she wanted to give her bike to the neighbor girl because the girl didn't have one. *smile*

I remember her first day of school. Her first bike. Her favorite Spice Girl. Her friends. Her Halloween costumes. Her laughter. Her obstinate streak. When they took her tonsils out. Her Wizard of Oz shoes. Getting her ears pierced.

Pieces of Middle Chicken wrapped around me that make me smile. And now Chrystan is headed off to high school next year. A stubborn independent redhead with a big heart and big ideas.

I couldn't be more proud.

Pictures to come.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Education THEN Implementation

This is the world of half-assed. You realize that, right? It's a world of "NOW NOW NOW" with only minimal (if any) knowledge pertaining to whatever is NOW NOW NOW.
It's fucking crazy.
Lately I've been bombarded with people, training, and life situations where NOW NOW NOW is being shoved down my throat while I'm standing there looking at the group of crazies asking...and would you like to tell me how, why, where, which one, and what?
Well. Would you?
You expect me to enforce a new tool without any training whatsoever. You expect me to attend an awards banquet at my child's school with less than twenty-four hours notice. You expect me to have the answers while you give me the question in pieces.
It seriously boggles the mind.
Preparation! And I'm not talking "to death." Or to the nth degree. No. Because what fun would that be?
But I'm implying a certain knowledge shared before expecting a desirable result.
Is that to much to ask?
Methinks not.
But then again, lately, I couldn't tell.

Monday, May 18, 2009

The big yellow orb in the sky

I saw it this morning. I almost fainted. It was the SUN, I tell ya!!! Here. In Oklahoma!
Amazing what a little sunshine can do for ya. Even for a Monday, I'm fairly perky. *grins*
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

It's the girls' last week of school. MC has 8th grade promotion this Thursday. Then she's off to high school.
I'm still processing this. And I believe she is, too. It's hard for her. But hopefully when August rolls around, she'll start to adjust. Having the family down for pizza (per MC's request-I swear the child can inhale a whole pie-God love her) and ice cream. Can anyone say Pepcid AC? SURE you can! lmao
Then we'll be off to the water park this weekend. Going to get out and about and explore the state a bit this summer. And if we like this water park fairly well, we may visit more than a couple of times. The only problem? It's about an hour and a half away. BC does NOT travel well.
Took MC dress shopping Friday. She picked one out that so signifies who she is. *grins* With all sorts of accessories that don't match but she loves because they DON'T match. Eclectic, that child.
So that's how the week unfolds. Gotta get MC's hair done Wednesday morning before work. Promises to be a long ass day, my friends. But anything for the chickens.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Generation Gap

Ok. Sometimes it's more like a chasm.
Case in point: Batman

Saturday night I was delighted to hear the repetitive refrain of "we're bored" being issued from OC and MC. It's always a marvelous time. And gee, Mom. Didn't we have ANY movie in the house we haven't already watched???
I point to a dusty stack of VHS tapes in the corner. And tell the girls to look through those. And then I specifically say...I think we have Batman over there.
Now keep in mind, the girls only recently saw the Dark Knight. The one where Heath Ledger does Oscar calibre work. But I refer to the Batman that was the FIRST Batman. With a kick ass soundtrack my Prince (Yeah. It was THAT long ago. He actually HAD a name). With Kim Basinger who screams FAR too often. And Jack Nicholson as the Joker with some of the best freakin' lines I've ever heard uttered in a movie.
OC is clearly disgusted. She picks up the case and read the back. Lengthy pause. And then she looks up and tells MC it was made in 1989. *gasp*
And I say, yeah. That's about right. And that's the year I graduated. MC looks at me and're 38?
(Okay. Major side story off the subject here. Last year, when I was but a young 36, ALL my girls thought I was 37. Why? I don't know. Because they can be evil heifers? Possibly. But I honestly think they were just unaware. So when I actually turned 37 this year, it probably went by remarkably unnoticed for the most part. But for MC to pop off with 38? I figure by the time I turn 40, I'll just be so densensitized that it won't even matter.)
I glare at MC. She simply looks back. And then she explains to me that people usually graduate when they're 18 so surely that means I'm 38. Except, I reassure the little butthead, that I skipped second grade which makes me a year younger than all my classmates.
(She took her sadistic pleasure from the vein throbbing in my forehead, but let her be amused where she may.)
We finally pop in the ol' VHS, and the movie starts.
Both chickens want to know which one is Batman. And what does he look like? And it doesn't show him until like fifteen minutes in.
But when it does, MC cracks me up. She looks over at me and says, "He looks like that guy off Benchwarmers. Is that his dad?"
She refers, of course, to Rob Schneider. And calmly asks if Michal Keaton is his dad.
I can only shake my head. Because I am speechless. And what tickles me more is that I can see the resemblance.
Skip ahead to when Batman drops ol' Jack into the vat of boiling acid stuff. Then he pops back out as the Joker a few scenes later. And as soon as Jack starts wearing the clown make-up, MC looks at me and says, "This has only reinforced my fear of clowns."
I think they enjoyed the movie as it unfolded. But it didn't mean as much to them as it did to me back in the day. Okay, back in the year. And that's fine, too.
It was all about quality time with the chickens.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Heart and Soul

I always tell people that the romance books come from my heart, but the poetry comes from my soul. I wrote three poems one right after the other last night. This one was my first and my favorite.

every breath slick with ice
the cold too much to bear
frigid tendrils fill my chest
iced vapors in the air

i yearn for heat
to flare inside
melt the pain
all else tried

but the cold holds tight
squeezed 'round my chest
spread throughout
a torturous guest

i shake and shiver
my soul splinters deep
broken in pieces
i weep
i weep

i long for the warmth
to ease this ache
soothe the tears
mend the break

loneliness a slow death
killing pieces of me
laid frozen and bare
though none can see

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Librarian's Prayer

Please God,

Grant me the patience to deal with customers who forget their cards
Help me to bite my tongue when I'm polite and the customer is anything but
Make me realize that getting a small person his/ her first card is far more important than having to handwrite sixty barcodes
And know that the sound of children laughing may sound like rabid hyenas after eight hours, but it's all perspective
Help me to remember to sanitize my hands approximately every thirty seconds because I don't want to know where some library cards or books have been
Give me the strength to remember I'm at work and not to take it personally
But most of all, God grant my director the wisdom to see that I need a raise to afford all the liquor I'll need this summer.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

What a couple of days!!!

I took yesterday off. Planned it about two weeks ago. Then it happened that I was asked out to lunch. It was a nice little get together. But I think I made my date nervous. *laughing*
Go figure.
I think sometimes I'm a little out there. But I don't see that changing. Ever. It is what it is. *grins*

The most excellent news?
I already received a response back from an agent about Warrior and the Sparrow! OMG!!! I opened the email, squealed (which we all know is a rarity), then couldn't calm myself to sit down at my desk. lmao
Of course, she wants a synopsis. *sigh*
So that's my pft news. But hey! I think it's a small price to pay. A really, really small price. So I'm all jacked up on endorphins and tickled shitless that a work that I absolutely love has sparked someone else's interest.
Beyond exciting.
Have a fantastic day!

Monday, May 04, 2009

90476 HELL to the YEAH!!!

I did it.
I finished Warrior and the Sparrow yesterday.
And I feel fucking fantastic.

It was a lazy day. The girls pretty much slept the entire time. MC didn't feel good. But me? I sat on my bed with my trusty laptop and finished writing a story that means so much to me.
And as soon as I finished and did a victory lap around the house, I made dinner.
Glamorous, huh?
I don't think they realize the magnitude, the little chickenlips. But I do.
So...without further ado...Warrior and the Sparrow:

A powerful warrior destined from birth for a dangerous quest.
A world ravaged by an evil presence that will stop at nothing short of complete domination.
A remarkable woman who risks everything she is or ever will be to save both.
Love it!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Speak it

Middle Chicken complained about a week and a half ago that she craved pizza. You know how teenagers are. My God, you would've thought it held the elixir of life or something. Anyway, not two days later she had pizza. Then I forgot she had a field trip so I picked up pizza. Then that weekend we made homemade pizza.
I laughed.
Because I'm a firm believer in speaking it. Once it's out there (whatever it is) there will be a response. I don't care what it is you've popped out into the Universe---there will be a reaction. Isn't it amazing how you think of somebody you haven't spoken to in ages, and they call? Or you ponder about something that bothers you, and the solution arrives? Or something makes a reference to your thoughts?
Thoughts are powerful, yes. But speaking the words aloud solidifies them. Gives strength to them.
So says a future NYT bestselling author.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I have a knack for pissing myself off

I should have known better.
Emphasis on "should have."
But no. Not me.
I have this big ol' "S" on my chest.
*eye roll*

So I pop ye old evil workout DVD in yesterday morning. I'm warming up. Actually, I'm sweating my ass off when suddenly I feel (and...God help me...HEAR) something pop on my lower left side. Think lower back-upper butt cheek. And then I straighten up. And right away, I'm know that I've done something extremely bad. Because it hurts like a mother.
I am highly displeased.
But I finished exercising. (Yes. At this point in time I would've slapped me, too.) Then I immediately find my heating pad and apply it to sore ass. If I could've found two belts, I would've wrapped that son of a bitch around me like an adult diaper. Alas, no.
I found it rather hard to sit on said sore ass and write. So I only popped off a couple of thousand words on WATS. Oh, and I limped all day yesterday.
I think I popped whatever the hell I displaced back where it lives this morning. Can I just share that it was a highly unpleasant experience, also? But I'm sore. And sitting really isn't a picnic right now.
And what am I gonna do when I get home?
Work out.
But easily. Web MD assures me that just lying there doesn't help matters. That gentle exercising and easing back into it will help. So I'll pop the evil one back in and try not to overdo today.
In a perfect world.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wrapped around chocolate...mmmmmmm

Part of the Author Panel goody bag from yesterday's OLA talk. How cool is that?
And for Lyvvie: We talked about the Sequoyah Masterlist, Graphic Novels, and Authors. Those are the discussions I went to. I had a great time. But the chocolate bar with my name on it? Are you freakin' kidding me???

Monday, April 20, 2009

Both sides

I gotta admit it. I sometimes miss the days where I could sit at home and write at leisure. That was a luxury. Now I cram the writing in after work or on weekends.
But on the flip side, if I didn't work at the library then I probably wouldn't have enjoyed the compliment I received today so much.
A customer came up, and told me she really enjoyed the first two books of the Elemental Guardian series--but particularly Water Goddess.
It tickled me.

Speaking of both sides, the next two days I'll be at OLA (Oklahoma Library Association) Conference. I'm going to listen Tuesday and speak Wednesday. I'm on the Author's panel with Jordan Dane, Mel Odom, and Charles Strasser. On the other side of the table are my other set of peers.
Chocolate pretzel anyone???
Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Oh. My. Freakin'. God.

Let me just say that I've already given thanks that there is an X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie coming out.

For the love of God. How gorgeous IS he in this movie??? And if you haven't seen the cover of Entertainment Weekly for the last week of April--get your ass somewhere and check it out. He graces the cover. That was my bit of eye candy this morning. lmao

Someone who exudes confidence is just hot. Don't care what they look like. And I'm not talking conceited. I'm saying "confident." They are well aware what they can do and don't show boat it. That is one of the most incredibly sexy traits I've ever seen.

*fanning self*


Crystal's hormones

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Lost in Ada

I had to take Middle Chicken to the dermatologist in Ada yesterday. I've been to Ada before. Hell, I went two years at ECU there. I freakin' had a printed out page with directions on it.
Did it matter?
Not so much.

So we head down Main Street which ends up right in front of ECU. I can't go straight. But I can go left or right. I hang a left. I'm currently headed in the right direction. Then I go all the way down to 4th. Which, once again, is correct. Then I, in my infinite wisdom, make a left.
And I continue to head down 4th which turns into Arlington but is still 4th and God knows what else.
Not much luck.
So there is an intersection there on 4th/Arlington and Mississippi. I hit every direction those flippin' stop signs are on. North. South. East. West. Still haven't made it to the clinic.
I'm not irritated. I'm amused. Because this is a given. If I have a choice, I will pick the wrong direction EVERY time.
So I drive back toward the evil stop sign and pull into a gas station. Ask directions. (I'm very good at this, by the way.)
And yes, I should have made a RIGHT on 4th. Because the street I need is three stop lights down. lmao
So. After giving myself and hour and forty five minutes leeway, we make it to MC's appointment with half an hour to spare.
Then, on our many travels about town, we saw a Salvation Army store. MC is excited because that means I may actually let her buy something. We head in. She doesn't want anything. I bought the CUTEST ladybug straw purse for a dollar.
The trip out of town was not nearly as eventful. We cranked the tunes. MC eyeballed the farmers in their trucks. And we both sucked down caffeine to beat the band.

Monday, April 13, 2009


There is a quiet sadistic maternal pleasure in watching my girls hunt for their Easter eggs. The morning always begins with a rapid inhalation of sugar. This can be in the form of chocolate or something really sour. Then the hunt is on.
Baby Chicken relishes finding the eggs not hers and then counting down to how many her sisters have left to find and how many she knows where they are at. Oldest Chicken goofs off and puts on a production when she plucks an egg not hers. And Middle Chicken wants absolutely NO HELP in finding her oval treasures. She doesn't care if something starts to stink on Memorial Day. It's a point of pride, methinks. Or obstinance. *grins*
And apparently, as I type this, OC has one egg left to find. And BC has already informed me that it's beneath the cushion that I'm sitting on. LMAO
So. Well.
How much fun is that???

And for other Easter treasures...our calico cat, Christmas, had Easter babies. *smile* Five tiny furballs. Two black. One orange. One tabby. One calico. It's raining outside, and we have a shelter on the porch complete with several towels and an umbrella to shelter the new arrivals.

There's meat in the crock pot. With potatoes added when it's almost done. OC lifted the lid this morning and smiled. "That's heaven."

Yes, honey.
It is.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Same Genetic Pool

My children are smartasses. I just have to throw that out there. They're also intelligent, kind, and humorous. But lately, in their teenage kingdom and my parenting hell, I seem to get the smartass.

Yesterday was a windy sonofagun here. More than usual. And that's saying something. Well, the electric had sputtered at least twice earlier in the day. (I hate resetting all the clocks. It irks me.) Then once more when I got home. And then in the evening as I was about to cook something, once more.
I'm like...What the HELL?
Middle Chicken looks at me and says, "Mom. Observe. Then ask questions."
I arch my eyebrow and reply, "That is soooooo coming back to bite you on the ass. You realize that, right?"
Or when they pop off something really snarky. And I have to compose myself before speaking.
I ask: "Where in the world do you get things like that?"
Oldest Chicken rolls her eyes. Looks at me. And says, "I wonder."

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I'd Look Twice

Apparently one woman's love of tofu has caused an uproar for her vanity tag. The Colorado woman's tag was to read "ILVTOFU."
*arches eyebrow*
But I can see where there may be a misinterpretation.

So I decide to google some other vanity plates and see what's shaking. Here's what I found:

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

James Bond and Baby Chicken

Can I just say that Quantum of Solace is a kickass movie? That Daniel Craig as James Bond completely does it for me? That I, who don't buy many movies, will purchase BOTH Bond movies with Daniel Craig in them.
He IS James Bond. Holy hell.
The movie started right away in a car chase sequence. And I was hooked. Period.
The girls refuse to watch the movie since I find it so *ahem* interesting. lmao

And speaking of the chickens. Let me post an excerpt of a note I found to me this morning penned by Baby Chicken:
"Dear Mom,
Hey! What's up? I hope you have a good night and nothing sicotic happens."

Yeah. That makes two of us.
And the p.s.?
"Don't return Quantum of Solace. I might watch it. (MAYBE)"

Hell. I might watch it again.

Monday, April 06, 2009

The good, the bad, and the weekend

I scoped out the seven day forecast for this last weekend because I seriously wanted to get out of the house. lmao
So Saturday, around noon, we rolled out and stopped by Wal-Mart to pick up a cooler and munchies. Drove down to Sulphur for the day. It was beautiful!!!
But before the beauty came the aggravation. Would anyone care to guess which child almost made me seek out a nitro pill?
Yeah. That would be Middle Chicken.
I just bought a new SD disk for my camera. And a bunch of new batteries. I love spring and couldn't wait to take pictures and whatnot.
So I look for my camera Saturday morning. I ask Oldest Chicken where it's at. She looks at me and says, "Where do you think it's at?"
So I zip down the hallway and knock on MC's door. I ask where my camera's at. She hands it to me. And...I remind her...the case.
I receive both.
I turn the camera on and what do you know? Low battery. I promptly remove the disk and plug it into my laptop.
And the blood pressure rises. Not just a little bit.
I took 11 pictures. ELEVEN PICTURES. She took 179. Of her face.
I came unglued. Seriously unhinged. And after I explained how incredibly rude that was, she looked at me and can delete them.
(cue nitro pill)
And I tried to delete them. And I COULDN'T! So I tossed the disk at her and went and bought another one.
What a heifer.
Some pictures are on my MySpace. It was a glorious day!!!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

They're at that age

My cell phone and I are mere acquaintances. She is really, however, tight with the girls. Especially Oldest and Middle Chicken. In fact, I can no longer arrive home and ask how everyone's day is because I get "Can I have your cell phone?"
Ya. Like that.
After another day of working hard, I arrive home to the same greeting and just hand the little piece of technology over. Go exercise. Clean up. Go back to where the three of them are all huddled together.
And I observe.
There is some HEAVY DUTY flirting going on here. Multiple heavy duty flirting. Five or six different conversations (laden with hormones, I might add) that has me cracking up in my little chair.
And whispering.
LOTS of whispering.
I get up and start to make myself some eggs and casually glance behind me to see MC whisper in OC's ear. I smile and say, "You really don't think you're fooling anyone, do ya?"
Guilt. Stricken. Faces.
I hold in my laughter. BARELY.
And I continue. "Do you seriously think that you're pulling something over on me? That I wasn't a teenage girl once?" Pause. "Seriously?"
OC is laughing. She looks at MC and says, "I think Mom knows."
Hell yes, Mom knows. Are you kidding?
So I let the flirtfest continue.
The upside? My phone doesn't send pictures.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Over my dead body

Sarah Palin wants my child.
She can't have her.

Oldest Chicken is in 9th grade. And yes, she goes to Upward Bound during the summer. And yes, again, college is not that far off.

We received our first college brochure yesterday. It slightly freaked me out. What really pushed me over the edge is that it was for an Alaskan college.
Hell. To the no.

She seemed pleased that the brochure came. And I remember the feeling well. It's cool for a place of higher education to show interest in you.
But if I have to kill myself and then put my last wishes in my will that she not go to Alaska (whatever the hell) U it's called...just brace yourself.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Saving my breath

I have teenage daughters. So I could probably just leave it at that, and everyone could draw their own conclusions.

I have decided, in my infinite maternal wisdom, that I will just let Meatloaf (the singer-not the main course) give my children life lessons.
Premarital sex? Listen to Paradise by the Dashboard Light. (I would certainly be praying for the end of time. That's all I'm saying.)
Not sure whether to say "I Love You" first? Give You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth a listen.
Young, teenage, and hormonal? Pretty much All Revved Up with No Place to Go.
Scared shitless of the "L" word? Two Out of Three Ain't Bad.
And in my top three...when you have to draw the Love Lines...I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That).
And yes, the answer to your unasked question is I downloaded Bat Out Of Hell off iTunes and am currently torturing my children with it.
I remember listening to Meatloaf on 8-track.
Yeah. You read that right. 8-track.
Good times, my friend. Good times.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Hibernation is key

There were severe storms here this morning. That was followed closely by pea-sized hail as I attempted to hurry my ass out to my vehicle. And snow is projected for this afternoon.
So there will be no "going" and "doing" this weekend. Oh no. There will be staying home and taking care of stuff there. Plus, I picked up cake mix and frosting. *grins* Because that's how it should be.
At least I don't live up in Oklahoma's panhandle. They're measuring projected snow up there in FEET. And they're pretty sure the drifts are going to be a yard tall.
Holy hell.
I love the storms. I'm not so fond of freezing my heiney off in late March.
Picking up cocoa and other necessities after work.

Monday, March 23, 2009

From dark to light

It was truly a craptastic kind of morning. The kind where everyone rubbed me the wrong way, and I didn't even want to be in my own skin. The kind where I honestly thought I ought to remove all sharp objects from anywhere near my reach.
But it's the afternoon now. Things are looking up. Went and tanned which I love. It's not so hectic now. And I'm waiting for an Oklahoma storm to roll right in. The girls are back in school.
And no one, I mean NO ONE, shall mention the evil summer break right around the corner.
After work I gotta run by the grocery store and pick up some stuff. Then home to exercise, torture the chickens, and see what I can find for dinner.
Yes. It's Monday.
But I think we're gonna make it.

My find of the day: Haunted Heart The Life and Times of Stephen King by Lisa Rogak.

Can't freaking wait.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Unbreakable Thread

I'm convinced WATS owns a piece of my soul. I love my other books. Each and every one of them. But I'm completely attached to WATS, and I want it just to be the most perfect account I've ever written.
No pressure, huh?
I only have about 20,000 words left. But I'm engrossed in this story. And I don't think I want it to end. Which is really not good for as far as sending it off to an agent. lmao

So I'll finish downloading my software and then open up my story and dive headfirst into a story that I truly love.
Excellent way to spend the weekend.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The gift that keeps on giving

Alison is an evil blond bitch.

She also happens to be the FIRM instructor that kicks my ass when I so choose to pop in my FIRM dvd and torture myself. Alison is perhaps a size 0. Maybe 3% body weight. And that smile (a GENUINE smile) she has while working out absolutely kills me. I think the dvd copyright is 2005.
Let's just say her sadistic ways are alive and well in 2009.

I used to work out with another FIRM dvd back in the early nineties. I think Sandahl Bergman was the instructor. Very low-key and mild. And it was actually VHS. lmao
I just now remembered. Wow. Times-they have changed.

But back to the evil Alison. How in the blazing hell can this chick smile, order me to do almost physically impossible things, and still not be out of breath? It's just wrong. And you can tell she enjoys it!
What a job. Exercise. Order others to do as you do. Get paid.

I still think she has a sadistic streak. And my aching ass agrees.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Names are powerful

Take my name, for instance.
Crystal. Inman.

Recently, at Staff Day, a prominent secretary sat at our table. We introduced ourselves all around. She looked at me and said, "I pictured you blonde."
I laughed. My reply? "I can be."
Then she chuckled and said she thought I was right out of high school. Fortunately, my Diet Pepsi didn't come out of my nose. But when I regained my composure, I had to grin.
Maybe I have a young sounding name. Not quite sure about that. But when introduced to people who have heard my name but never seen me, I'm supposed to be blond. Who knew?
I mean, I have highlights and all, but I'm a brunette.
And when I go tan, the woman always asks my first name. LOL
I think I'm the only "I" in there. But she just shook her head last time and said, "I just want to call you Ginger."

If I pick up a story with odd-sounding names, I give it a small chance of redemption. Then it's gone. I blogged before about J.R. Ward's names in her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. And while I stumbled over it at first, I've come to expect it. And how creative is she? lmao

Or perhaps people you know that go by a middle name instead of a first. My boss does that. And so does a co-worker. And there's a guy I knew in school that went by Sean simply because his full name was Eric Sean. (Say that three times fast, you'll get my drift.)

So when I read that MIA chickie named her child "Ickett", I said a silent prayer for the child and hoped all would be well. As for Gwyneth, "Apple" is cute. But "Moses" tends to be a bit presumptuous, in my opinion. "Bronx"? *shaking head*

A name forms an opinion of a person before the person is even seen.
As for me, maybe I'll go blond.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Spring Fever

Ok. I'll admit it. Every spring I have this romantic streak that rises up, grabs me by the throat, and surely gets my attention.
It's the flowers blooming and the livestock getting it on for my ride to and from work. By the way, equine sex, my girls do not approve. LMAO
(We have horses in the pasture behind our house, and they are feeling the love. That's all I'm saying.)

But spring makes me feel poetic and dreamy and like I want to run in a gauzy white dress amongst the daffodils. *grins* And for someone as down-to-earth as I am, it's rather interesting.
So I rented "The Romance of Astrea and Celadon" from the library the other day. It's French with lovely subtitles and whatnot. But there was talk of fairies and nymphs and such. So I picked it up.
I don't mind the subtitles. Not a bit. I read rather fast so I can still catch facial expressions and nuances.
But this romance was EXTREME!!!
In a nutshell, Celadon and Astrea's parents hated each other so they didn't want the kids to get together. Astrea told Celadon to flirt with another chick so life would be bearable for the pair. Well, he did. And then this troublemaker guy showed Astrea that her beloved Celadon and other chickie were together behind a tree.
So Astrea goes off and tells Celadon never to be in her sight again unless she tells him. All his protestations met with naught, so he replies..."Then I shall go and drown myself."
And he TRIES!!!
To drown himself.
Because Astrea broke his heart. And he didn't want to live without her.
I think I had to rehinge my jaw.
It was such a romance from another time. By today's standards...he would've said something along the lines of "Bitch, please. You told me to go flirt so I did. Now get over it."
There was also cross-dressing and a few other items that I think raised my eyebrows a bit. But what sticks with me is the fact that as surely as love can can damage when used as a weapon.
Those are my deep thoughts for the day.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's not my job

Hearing this one phrase come out of someone's, ANYONE'S, mouth drives me up the wall.
Case in point: Last night after work I had to go to the local grocery store and get a money order. So I walk up to the little counter and wait. The woman behind the counter is on the phone, and when she finally gets off the phone, turns to me and stares blankly.
I wait.
She finally says, the girl that works in the office will be back in a minute. I'll wait until she gets back, and she can help you.
I simply look back at her.
She pauses and asks, "What do you need?"
I needed a freaking money order for a $1.82 for an added finance charge from a place that wouldn't take my mastercard. So let me reiterate. A money order for $1.82.
This chick would rather stand there and make excuses than to punch in three numbers and produce a money order.
She finally acquiesces. I thought that was a nice change of pace from the blank stare and shuffling.
But seriously.
If it's not your job, then whose the hell is it? And what if it isn't their job either? Isn't there anyone who will actually stand up and do a little extra? God forbid. If I hear "I get paid by the hour" one more time for a coworker, I'm going to scream.
Yes. You do get paid by the hour. We all do. Get a little pride in your work, and quit acting like a whining three-year old.
You have a job. You have a life. You have areas in both of those when you will be asked to do crap you don't want to do in many horrible ways. But you damn do it. Or you should. Because guess what? It IS your freakin' job.
Now suck it up. Get it right. And get me my damn $1.82 money order.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Daylight Savings Time

The hitch is not in remembering to set my clock and the microwave to the correct time. The hitch would be Middle Chicken being on the same page.
I had to come to work early today because the redesign from hell finished up, and we needed to shift items back to their proper homes. No problem. So I woke up around 6:30 am, shuffled to the bathroom and took my shower. Got the chickies up around 6:45 am.
No one was enthused.
Including me.
And as Middle Chicken sits on the couch putting on her multi-colored eyeshadow, she flips the curtain open, looks into the dark and says...What time is it anyway?
Oldest Chicken smiles and says...Well, it's almost seven. But really it should be six.
Middle Chicken frowns and says...I set my clock back two hours.
Yeah. She set her clock BACK.
Oldest Chicken looks at her and laughs...What exactly do you think "spring forward" means?
Middle Chicken says...I don't know. But I just now turned my calendar over to March.
She shrugs and continues to apply eye make-up.
Cracked me up.
As for this weekend-spent Saturday shopping with the Chickens and taking them out to the Chinese Buffet. Mmmmmmmmmmmm
Sunday I wrote on WATS. I'm up to around 73,000 words. Yay!!!
My Easter lillies have bloomed in clusters around my yard. Maybe I'll snap a photo or two and post sometime later.
Enjoy the day!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

My Impending Aneurysm

This redesign will be the death of me.
This morning was a cluster from hell of "move this over there," "move that over here," "move something even though you have no idea where the hell it goes and don't care."
I was SO all over the last one.
I knocked the living hell out of my legs while trying to move books. Those large size book shelf moving contraptions are dangerous. Let me tell you. Or if you were closer, and I knew you well enough, I'd just show you. LOL
And now there are self-checkout machines and all sorts of business that is new to us and our customers. So we're all trying to play "technology cram" so that we know what the blazes we're talking about in less than a week.
So I smoked a cigarette.
Yeah. You read that right. I, who quite June 15, 2008, had a cigarette. And it tasted like dog shit, but I smoked it anyway because I swear to God it was either homicide or nicotine. I chose nicotine.
And let me just add that it tasted like crap. I will sooooo never go back to that one. Ew. About made me sick. Lesson learned.
I was STILL rather wound tight so I went and tanned at lunch. The offshoot being that my lunch was a bag of Cracker Jacks, but still. Tanning is therapeutic for me. I lay there, bake, and ponder the ins and outs of my little world. I also needed the time out of the building. Because these four walls are tap dancing on my last damn nerve.
Okay. Enough bitching. Um...until tomorrow.
I saw, I swear to you, a 75 year-old man driving a Domino's Pizza Delivery car, and I am very saddened.
Help a person riding one of those little cart things in a grocery store unload their groceries.
If the construction guys knew what was good for them, they would seriously hide the hammers.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Book Coverage

Don't judge a book by its cover.
Yeah. Right.
People do. If it is TRULY a hideous cover then odds are that it won't be read often (at all). LOL
But there also, in my mind, is a place where a unique cover and title work wonders.
What He Wants has a HAWT cover. Yes. I spelled that wrong. For a good reason. And my inner literary Emily Post is having a fit. But let her.
However, this Torrid title cover came from a stock of photographs so it now graces other books. Which, by the way, sucks. And oh, by the way some more, it fits mine better.
On a slightly related note, I browsed Amazon the other day to see when the latest J.R. Ward book would be in my hot, little hands. Lover Avenged will be available April 28. That was the good news. The not so good news? The Mark of the Horse Lord by Rosemary Sutcliff has basically the SAME damn bookcover.
I am appalled!!!
I believe that anybody who has books on the bestseller list should have original artwork/pictures/ something!
So yes. The sight of a semi-naked dude leaning toward the reader with large tattoos on the shoulder is fairly hot. But finding several other books with the same picture is decidedly not.
It takes something away instead of adds to it.

Friday, February 27, 2009

What Will They Think of Next???

This story fascinates me.
These people are tapping out novels on their cell phones! Isn't that amazing? I would, of course, lose my mind. But I'm impressed that these young people are taking that ambition and channeling into a worthwhile creative endeavor.
Cell phones are pretty amazing things. You can do so many tasks on them now. I suppose this is just one more thing that they're capable of doing.
But I can't imagine tap tap tapping away on a screen so minimal or a keyboard that is smaller than my palm.
Apparently there is a "mode" on my phone that allows for keyboard shortcutting. The "T9" mode or some such nonsense.
Drives me crazy. It doesn't take away my time to tap something out. It lengthens it. Um...considerably. The girls are constantly telling me to leap into the 21st century. Smart butts that they are.
But I resist.
Writing stories on cell phones.
What a novel idea.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


You know you grew up in tornado alley if...

The first thing you do if you hear tornado sirens during the day is check your watch to see if it's noon...or run outside to look.
You don't get worried unless the sky looks "green".
You use the word "tornado" as a verb.
You chuckle at all the facebook groups called "I survived the ___ tornado."
You might go indoors when there's a tornado, but you won't "seek shelter" for anything less than an F3.
You know what Doppler radar, Hook echo, wall cloud, and rain-wrapped all mean.
You've never exactly memorized the tornado precautions, but you've heard them enough times that you know them by heart anyway.
Watching the weather is entertaining. And red on the Doppler radar is exciting.
The phrase "Tornado on the ground, take your immediate tornado precautions" sends exciting shivers up your spine.
You've seen photos/videos of tornados and said, "Wow, that's a nice one!"
You can feel/smell tornado weather brewing a few hours before the storm actually begins.
There's an odd feeling as though you've misplaced something if you make it all the way to June without a tornado warning near you.
You think people that live in earthquake and/or hurricane prone areas are crazy.
You know what people are talking about when they mention the "May 3rd/Moore" tornado and the "Greensburg/May4th" tornado.
You watch the movie "Twister" just so you can point out all the inaccuracies in it.
You know your weathermen by their first names. i.e. Gary.
When you hear the tornado sirens go off, you go outside to watch the storm and take pictures.
Most of the tornado video footage comes from everyday people with camcorders instead of from actual news/weathermen.
You're sure there's a giant tornado magnet hidden somewhere in Moore. And that there are smaller ones distributed throughout trailer parks.
You know that the four seasons are actually: summer, late summer, winter (if you're lucky), and tornado.
You don't consider it windy until the windspeed is faster than 30mph.
You are highly entertained by people from outside tornado alley when there is a tornado watch.
You learned that some other states don't have tornado drills from this list.
There's enough random stuff in your tornado shelter that you could live there for a year.
You stand under your carport or open your front door to watch hail and/or thunderstorms.
You know the difference between a basement, a cellar, and a storm shelter.
The weather is a completely acceptable subject for conversation, at any time, for any occasion.
Your local mall has "tornado shelter" signs posted.
It doesn't bother you the next day to find out that your area was under a tornado watch the night before and you had no idea. Unless, of course, it caused you to miss some interesting cloud formations.
Getting to "play" in the basement/cellar/storm shelter numbers among your favorite childhood memories.
You keep matches, candles, and candleholders in more than one place in your house.
Your town will never get hit by a tornado because you're between two rivers or because an old Indian legend says so.
You complain about severe weather reports that interrupt the TV show you're watching.
You can get together all your most important possessions in 2 minutes flat.
When tornado sirens woke you up in the middle of the rolled over and went back to sleep.
You've ever tried to reassure someone by saying that "if anything forms it will only be a little tornado"...and couldn't understand why this didn't calm them down any.
It's normal for your area to be under a tornado watch for multiple days in a row.
When looking at houses/buildings you give them a "tornado survival ranking". i.e., how big of a tornado it would take to destroy it. Also, if you are in a new building or house, you evaluate in your mind the best place to take shelter.
You've ever asked (probably w/ disdain) "Don't they know the difference between a warning and a watch?"
You know what towns/cities a tornado normally passes through before coming your way.
From watching radar maps, you've heard of almost every small town in your state. And you know what towns are around them, but you have no idea where in the state they are.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


We're doing a redesign at work. New carpet and a total redesign of the departments around here.
It's maddening.
We still don't entirely have our footing as to job duties, other tasks, and desk assignments. And that leaves a lot of us looking longingly at a bottle of Jack at the end of a days work. Ya know?
And instead of a large building in which to do business, we have a small room. And I mean small.
When it's complete, it's going to be utterly gorgeous. Until then? Not so very much.

Personally? I'm rocking right along. Haven't concentrated on WATS like I should. I would say that's been my biggest downfall of sorts. My bills are all paid. I have a new vehicle.
Did I tell y'all that???
If you're a regular reader, you know I'm the poster child for fucked-up automobiles. And I swear to God I can feel my arteries try to shutdown when I have a car that will not treat me right. For example...start.
And after a three week cluster from hell, I have a new car. Well. A new USED car. *grins*
It used to be my sister's company car. But she's moved on up to an Eddie Bauer Ford Expedition vehicle with a sunroof and heated leather seats. Lord love her. LOL
So I'm bipping around in a 2006 blue Ford Escape with around 40,000 miles on it. And OMG! Am I loving the hell out of it? You bet your ass. The girls love it. We rock to the music streaming out of the speakers. It's fantastic!!!

Now. If only I don't have a nervous breakdown at work.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

37 Today

Hello all!

I turned 37 this morning. 8:02 am to be exact. *grins*
What a difference a decade makes. LOL
Ten years ago I turned 27. My thoughts centered around entirely different sets of problems.
For example:
A decade ago I was worried about how chickies would do for a full day in school. Now I'm worried that even when they go to school, are they going to stay?
A decade ago I was worried about my girls' friends lying. Now I'm worried about them being pissed off and bringing a gun to school.
A decade ago I worried about finding a ponytail holder to pull my hair up in. Now I'm worried about arranging my hair so the gray doesn't show.
A decade ago my Mom bought me sexy lingerie for my birthday. This year she bought me a 6 qt crock pot, and I'm just as thrilled.
A decade ago I looked forward to thirty (which, quite frankly, was a year that totally rocked for me.) Now I'm looking forward to forty.
But on the plus side...I laugh more. I think more. I dream more. I live more. So another year?
Eh. It's only a set of days. It's the set of memories that I have that more than make up for some number that doesn't even begin to tell the story of my life.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Words of Wisdom

I love words. String them together and you can heal a heart, open a mind, and change the world.
Pretty potent stuff.
Here are a few of my latest and most favorite words of wisdom:
*I am not a Human Was or a Human Will Be. I am a Human BEING.
*You can only change yourself.
*Never measure your value in another's eyes.
And one that a former co-worker and I always used to make fun of when the employer put it on the work calendar:
*If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
I'm not snickering anymore. Because it makes perfect sense to me. So I'm taking each opportunity to try and get it right this time to the best of my ability. Taking steps to align my life with my dreams and hopes and desires.
Laughing, loving, and living in the moment. There is a sense of peace and rightness sometimes when there are no words at all.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Male Sex Survey

I can't find it now, damn it. But I read an interesting article from the homepage of AOL the other day. It was a Male Sex Survey.
It included: what they like, how they feel, and sexual preferences.
I do so love to get into a guy's head. But anyway...what really made me laugh aloud was a percentage.
The question (I'm paraphrasing) asked whether a man wanted a woman who could cook or a woman who could give him oral sex more. It was like a 49%/48% split.
And honest to God, all I could think about was...I feel the same way.
So see? We're not that different after all.
I could hem and haw and say that it's all research. But I'd be lying. And I do hate a liar. Had too many of them in my life.
The simple truth? Sex is fascinating. The chemical and physiological reaction. The sensations. All of it. Perhaps that's why I split my romance between traditional and erotic.
Now. I obviously need a literary hero who can cook and *ahem* take care of other necessary business.

Monday, February 09, 2009

The funniest damn thing Middle Chicken has done so far

Middle Chicken was a bit hyper yesterday evening. She swears it was the chicken and rice. I'm not so sure. But I do know she bounced off the walls like she thought it was a good idea. I finally coax her into taking a shower and not waiting forever because she has to straighten her hair before she goes to bed.
So MC hops in and then tells OC she can come and visit her. They all like to party in the bathroom and talk about things I'm sure I don't want to know about. Then MC asks OC to hand her the soda she has in there. OC does.
MC lets out this growl/roar thing while in the shower and says, "That's my best impression of Tupac from Star Wars."
OC flies out of the bathroom, doubled over, looks at me and says...This is hilarious. And proceeds to tell on MC.
I fell helpless to the hilarity. I had to remove my glasses because tears streamed from my eyes. And as soon as I had myself under control, off I went again. In fact, I'm still laughing.
And now, OC is calling MC...Tupaca.
I need a tissue.

The Grammys Got It Right

I used to love watching award shows. The Emmys. The Oscars. Any and all music awards shows. Then that fizzled out rather quickly over a year when I think the scheduled show ran over four hours long.
I would have rather watched golf. THAT'S how bad it was.
But as much as I love music, I decided to give it another go and see what's up.
Couldn't be happier I did.
Now. I haven't watched the Grammys since Ricky Martin sang "Livin' La Vida Loca." Yeah. It's been awhile. But that was hands down one of the best performances I had ever seen him give. I think I watched Toni Braxton perform that year, also. Absolutely amazing.
But this year?
Someone finally got it right.
The performances were a mix of genres and ages. I thought putting Kanye, Jay Z, and T.I. on stage together was inspired. The same for Jamie Foxx, Smokey Robinson, and Ne-Yo. What my gag reflex had a hard time with was the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder. I loathe the Jonas Brothers. They are talentless hacks that Disney has foisted on the masses to make a buck.
But enough about them. Sir Paul and Dave from the Foo Fighters rocked. Coldplay was utterly fantastic. The more I see them, the more I like them. Sugarland blew me away. Jennifer Nettles just has that VOICE. Phenomenal.
So all in all, I enjoyed the three and a half hour program. It lagged a bit in spots. But it made up for it in vitality and freshness.
MIX IT UP, people!
And maybe, just maybe, the Oscars won't tank this year like they did last year.
Ya know?

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Ode to Mr. Reed

Mr. Reed was a modest band teacher. A man concerned more with teaching children music than most anything else.
He passed away Tuesday at the age of 81. And I can say, without hesitation, that he changed my life.
I took band in sixth grade and decided on the clarinet. And let me say that I don't remember pitching a fit to get one, but I must have been fairly persistent because I received one. And for a poor family, that's saying something.
I'm quite sure I tapdanced all over my parents' nerves with what we will loosely call "practicing." I know I did my dad's. He still mentions it at every holiday. *smile* But I stuck with it and my series of honks that could call geese to my front porch eventually actually sounded like "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
Junior High was a different story. Let's say I literally loathed seventh and eighth grade. My body did things I really didn't like. I started wearing glasses. I gained weight. It was horrid.
And then there was band.
Band at the junior high was in the basement level. Great acoustics. But when I say you could've hid bodies down there, I'm not kidding. And I lost interest. Rapidly.
But when your parents fork out God knows how much money for a piece of plastic that you swear you will cherish forever, you're kind of screwed.
So screwed I was.
I've always loved music, but I hated pretty much everything else. Until Mr. Reed. He was a slight man. And even back twenty years ago, he had those lovely lines on his face that spoke of graceful age and dignity. And having no male of any sort in my life that was worth a damn, I have to say that Mr. Reed fascinated me. He was softspoken and intelligent. He could pick up any damn instrument and play it. He marvelled me.
That sums it up nicely. He marvelled me.
Now back in the day, we had two concerts. But the spring concert was the biggie. That's when the girls wore formals, and the boys wore suits and ties or the equivalent of such dress.
And Mr. Reed, God bless him, had us tackling Mozart. "The Marriage of Figaro" to be precise.
Now, being a fairly young band, the sight of sixteenth notes piled on top of each other intimidated a few. But not for long. Because we broke that song down until we knew every note in it. And the night of the concert?
We rocked their socks.
You better believe it.
I can't hear that song today without thinking of a band director who put his kids first and touched so many lives through his caring and dedication. He was inducted into the Oklahoma Band Directors Hall of Fame in 1979. But his real legacy lies in all the hearts of the students he taught over the decades.
God bless you, Mr. Reed.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Wear Me Out Wednesday

And gee. That looks a lot kinkier than it actually is.
I'm tired. Scratch that. I'm flippin' exhausted. Didn't make it to work yesterday because honestly, I thought someone beat me with a bat while I was sleeping.
On a related note, I asked the chickens but nobody 'fessed up.
Anyway...back to this evening. Wednesday is the long night. The night that drags on forever and a day. Hard to be enthused when my peepers are tired and my bones are aching. I need a long hot bath.
But since I've had a reality check and realize that isn't going to happen...I would settle for it possibly being Friday.
*rubbing my computer screen and thinking wishful thoughts*
*opening one eye and scowling*
Well, damn it.
But the good news?
Zip over to and check out the Whiskey Creek Press page. And what will you see? Just all of my Elemental Guardian books in the Top Ten. Gotta love that. can zip (while you're zipping) over to Whiskey Creek Press and get one of my short stories...FREE!!!
So take care of yourself. I'm going to prop myself up over here and try not to watch the clock too closely.
*eye roll*
Yeah, right. Like that'll happen.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Medium Well Done

I'm not a big fan of television. I prefer to receive my entertainment from books or my own head. Lots of material up there. But there are a few shows that I absolutely will toss everything else to the side for.
Medium is one. In fact, I would say that Medium is my favorite show. Period. Not only is the content fascinating, but the characters are BRILLIANT!!! Yes, caps. They are that good. The storylines hold my interest from the beginning and never taper off. The relationship between the adults, Joe and Allison, is so true to life that I absolutely laugh aloud sometimes. They become mad at one another. Joe has kept the couch company for a bit. Allison can be bitchy. It's like they're real people. So this obviously appeals to my sense of voyeurism. *grins*
But in the end, even if not wrapped up in one episode, they are really there for each other. Through the visions and job losses and children problems. And that's a show that I'll stop what I'm doing simply to watch the stories unfold.
I'm so excited that it's on this evening!
That's why I got my butt out of bed at 6:15 am and exercised. So I wouldn't have to do it when I got home.
I don't believe Mama's making dinner, either. There are, however, leftovers for the able-bodied children to warm up.

As for the Super Bowl, it was pretty good. The fourth quarter obviously the best quarter, but it was still a pretty good game. And the commercials???
I LOVED the Sobe commercial with the lizards and football players. I've already watched it on YouTube twice this morning. heh
Lizards. Dancing. With football players.
That's also good television.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Guest blogging!!!

I'm over at Frightening Journeys today posting about my thoughts on the "Were" phenomenon.
Come check it out!

The Ice Storm Cometh

I came to work Monday morning with the thought that perhaps Oklahoma would receive a bit of much needed moisture in the form of icy precipitation.
How very right I was.
The roads became so slick early that I left work at 11:30 am just to get my butt home before I couldn't make it at all. One of my co-workers told me that four of them stayed until five (our early closing) and that EVERY one of them fell in the parking lot and had to crawl to their respective cars.
Yeah. It was like that.
I, however, in my limited wisdom contacted Mr. Propane and had him deliver to me Monday even though I had 20% left still. What a forward thinker I am.
Tuesday the roads were impassable. We were in a "State of Emergency." Travel was NOT advised unless you absolutely had to. I didn't have to. Work was closed for which I'm thankful. And, of course, no school.
I took vacation Wednesday because little white car was still buried, and I thought it unwise to kill myself getting the little thing out of its hidey hole when I would surely end up in the closest ditch.
And, of course, no school.
Thursday became the day of possibilities. I did NOT want to spend another precious 8 hrs of vacation sitting home watching OC play PS2, MC harrass her sisters, and BC complain about everything. So I sucked it up (this was industrial suckage, let me tell you) and decided to drive to work.
I call it white knuckle driving because by the time I arrived in my occupational parking lot, I had to pry my fingers from the wheel. Unpleasant, to say the least.
Where were the chickens?
No school. Of course. So they kept me company. And it was not a good time. First of all, slammed would be putting it mildly. It was balls to the walls here, my friends. The phone rang off the hook. There was a small stampede when we opened the doors. You would think that we were the hottest ticket in town.
Well, I think we are. But I digress.
So now it's Friday. And I'm at work. Which really, looking at alternatives, isn't that bad. The chickens are STILL out of school. But there's a bit of separation between us right now so who am I to complain?
There are STILL large roadways that haven't seen hide nor hair of salt or a plow. And I'm rather glad the chicks aren't going to school. Their route is mostly dirt roads. And that translates to an icy ditch right about now. So they're kicked back at home. Probably torturing the hell out of each other. If pattern holds, and I'm sure it will.

I did write a bit. Pounded out about 6000 more words. And I love the story. It's wonderful.
So I'll wish everyone a happy weekend. Stay warm if you can.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The eye twitcheth

In no particular order:

There are NOT enough hours in the day. I don't care if you're Dr. Phil or Dr. Wayne's all a LIE!!!
Teenage girls will hit a period of time when the mirror is their friend. Which makes it extremely frustrating for the Mama to fix her hair.
I feel like I'm going to be stuck at 60,000 words FOREVER on WATS. ACK! Okay. *deep breath* Not really. Sheesh.
Is it Friday yet?
It's only important if someone else wants it.
When I want attention, I can't get any. However, when I want to lay low, that's when the middle button of a blouse is missing.
Oklahoma weather--Today 77. Tomorrow 60. Next week? Who knows. But leaving the house this morning when it's a balmy 32 with a sleeveless thin shirt on was not the best of ideas.
People invariably suck at one time or another. But it's the optimist in me that believes they'll get over it.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Beyond frustrating

How much do I absolutely LOVE getting a call from the principal of the girls' school?
It utterly pisses me off. First, I believe I've stated my utter loathing for receiving calls at work. It is almost never good. Except when the Mom or Sis calls.
But having a first-year principal proceed to tell me how unruly my child is in three different classes quite crawls up my ass. And I will concede that BC can be quite an opinionated overbearing pill.
I admit that. My God. I'm her MOTHER! I KNOW these things.
But I also can see where two of these classes also have different problem children and two teachers who have no concept on how to control a class.
In fact...and I don't know if I've shared this story before or not-but what the hell-it deserves a of these teachers sent MC and some of her friends to this office because they were calling her "stupid"
(wait for it....)
Okay. Can you grasp how frustrated I am? I think it's fairly obvious.
So instead of me being a somewhat happy camper this evening, I could've cheerfully strangled BC. And the principal ticks me off because he wants to blame the students for EVERYTHING!!!
My GOD! Do your fucking job! BE a damn principal!
And since I still feel the need to air it out, I brought up the teacher with the mental problems. Apparently she was sitting right there by Mr. Principal as he talked to me on the phone.
*eye roll*
So he asks...Do you want to talk to her?
My response...God, no! And then I proceed to explain that I personally think she is a horrible instructor, and I cannot WAIT for NONE of my girls to have her. HA!
And so he hems and haws about how wonderful she is.
Yeah. Bullshit.
This is a teacher who does some crap jobs so I'm sure they'll keep her just for that. Because let me tell you, the chickie has some major problems.
But this, in NO way, excuses BC and her mouth.
So BC's plans for this weekend?
Gone. So so very damn gone. And she's now grounded for two weeks. Because I think that's only right. And considering the mental agony I've had to endure by listening to the principal's prattle, I should add extra time for pain and suffering for the Mama.
So that's that.