Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I'm not dead

I'm just doing a good impression of it.
Have I already stated what a hard time I have this time of year? Well. It needs to be stated again. This time of year sucks for me.
Van broke down. Over a thousand dollars to fix it. Called the propane people, and it took them three fucking days to get their damn truck to my house. I am SO displeased. They had the money on the account, but they couldn't seem to find my damn house.
I got nothing left.
Just a bunch of to-do's floating around in my head. A spark or two for stories. I'm hanging onto those babies. But basically I'm simply surviving.
This is not a mode I particularly like.
I'm overwhelmed. Burned out. Barely functioning.
'Taint pretty. But I seem to be doing a bit better the past day or so. The desire to take a long walk off a short pier has left. Playing in traffic no longer sounds reasonable.
So I'd say that things are looking up.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

In Absentia

I would love to report that in this lengthy absence I was a productive, happy, healthy individual.
I would be lying out my ass.
So let's break it down and see what I HAVE done.
I gained five pounds. I swear. Thanksgiving is the ONLY day I can eat Velveeta dip with ro-tel and sausage and call it breakfast. pft
I had to have my brakes fixed. Driving into town from twenty-five miles out with no brakes does NOT give one warm fuzzies.
I received a call today from the girls' school that MC chose to receive swats for a disciplinary problem. Now. Tell me how damn smart it is to refuse to move to another seat when you are caught talking/laughing/disrupting class. Not too damn smart when your actions mean that you won't be seeing "Twilight" this year. Much less with your best friend, her bf, and your crush du jour. Sucks, don't it?
I haven't written one single word. I don't think jotting down a title and premise sentence count. Do you? Of course, that's how The Portrait came to be. *pondering*
In other words, I haven't done much of anything. I spent Sunday on the couch. I feel as though all I do is run around with errands when I'm not working. My ass is dragging. My ulcer is flaring. I am displeased.
I did, however, do a bit of online shopping. Feeling pretty froggy about that. But my teeter totter is still leaning in the "screw a bunch of this" direction.

p.s. Did anybody feed Periwinkle???