Saturday, December 29, 2007

The BESTEST news!!!

Hello all!

I'm going to be ending 2007 on a lovely note. Seems that The Portrait is nominated for a Romantic Times 2007 Reviewers' Choice Award!!!
OMG!!! *squee*

From the website:
2007 was another great year for readers. So many fabulous books were published! We reviewed more than 250 books in each issue of RT BOOKreviews -- more than 3,000 titles for the entire year. Our ace reviewers and editors have scoured 12 months' worth of reviews to compile the best of the best for the annual Romantic Times BOOKreviews Career Achievement and Reviewers' Choice Awards. For the Reviewers' Choice nominees, our star team selected only those novels that deeply resonated with them. The Career Achievement nominees are authors who have continuously crafted superior books throughout their careers. (The list of nominees is also printed in February 2008 issue of RT BOOKreviews.)
Out of over 3000 titles...they picked one of mine.
That does it for me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


The girls and I drove past the old house that burned a year ago. It upset middle chicken the most, but I think all in all, it was a good time for more closure.
And as I feel like I've aged a decade this year at times, I realize several things:

I'm better off now than I was a year ago.
I'm a strong woman raising three strong chickies.
Time DOES heal the wounds.
Life's unexpected turns can lead you down beautiful roads.
Stuff is...stuff.
Some people are genuine. Some people are liars and users.
Faith is priceless.
Hope lives in my heart.
Love comes from the most unexpected places.
Laughter IS the best medicine.
What goes around...comes around.
A helping hand can make all the difference.
I bend, but I don't break.

The most precious things in my world don't hang from a tree or lie under it.
They're around it at the buttcrack of dawn Christmas morning hugging me and telling me "Merry Christmas."

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Have a wondrous safe and happy holiday!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Thanks to Kat, who sent this to me.
I LOVED the old Hollywood Squares. And the Newlywed Game, too!

Hollywood Squares
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares on TV, and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough .

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.


Friday, December 07, 2007

Spam--more than a mystery meat

I highly dislike having spam in my email. It irritates me. But there is some major fodder for humor here.

1. Penis enlarger--Let me explain. I don't have one. But if I were ever in the market for one, I would simply go to the Adult Toy Store and pick out whichever size suited me best.
2. Ill person--I'm sorry that you're ill. Really, I am. But it obviously didn't stop you from getting on the computer and mass mailing people in search of monetary gain. Money-grubber, heal thyself.
3. My email won the lottery--Obviously my email and I are very close. I believe I would have known if my email entered something such as this. I'm not buying. Yeah, literally.
4. Verify my paypal account--Bite me. *grins* I don't have one.
5. eBay--I've been on eBay once. And that was to find something for someone else. It confuses me. LOL Better luck next time.
6. Viagra, Oxycotin, narcotics in general--Obviously you are chemically altered if you honestly think I would fork over money to buy a cut product with probably 2% of the original drug in it. Yeah. That'll happen.
7. Webcam offers--That's nice that you're willing to share your goodies with the world at large. However, I won't be viewing them.
8. MySpace adds--If you're going to try and "add me" as a friend, have an inkling about me. Messaging me with "Hi Cute! I think I would be good wit you" makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.
10. re: HI--I drop a line to my friends every now and then. But I guarantee that if I don't recognize your email, such as "xcyttfcm@hotmail"...then you're email won't be seeing daylight.

So keep 'em coming. I know you will. *grins* And I'll keep hitting "delete" while chuckling and wondering why you don't get a real job.

Monday, December 03, 2007


My chickens and I are very good at this. You could SWEAR that you hear something one way, when actually it's another.

Oldest chicken has taken to using the word "atomically" for "automatically." She swears up and down that "automatically" has too many syllables.

Middle chicken used to sing a line from a Macy Gray song. The line goes: "My world crumbles when you are not there." She still sings: "I blow bubbles when you are not there." I like her version better.

But baby chicken has everyone beat. When she was five years old, she had a friend in her class who got a chocolate gift for Valentine's Day. She hurriedly rushes out to meet me when the final bell rang exclaiming that her friend received "horsey kisses." I believe I said "WHAT?" about three times before she becomes exasperated and says, "You know! Those chocolate things wrapped in silver."
Ah...hershey kisses.
Or when she has a sore in her mouth and tells me she has "kangaroo sores." *ahem* Canker sores. lmao
She was using this one up until last week when I had to correct her so her friends wouldn't make fun of her. Baby chicken just shrugs and says, "I like 'kangaroo sores' better." So be it.
Who am I to argue?