Monday, May 29, 2006

Grilling fool

I'm in the process of making enough food to feed a small army. Hopefully this will satisfy the chickens. There are salads, chips and dip, devilled eggs, potatoes, corn, and several pounds of pork and beef. Watermelon for dessert.
They are excited.
Me? Scared sh*tless. I have to grill.
I LOVE the taste of grilled meat. That is my number one preference for flavor. However, when I'm the one can't be good.
Last year I decided that putting some starter fluid on the briquets would be the way to go. I lost a bit of eyebrow and some leaves off the nearest tree. Then there was the year I accidentally dropped more food than I cooked. The dog was a happy camper.
And before I embarrass myself further...this leads me to the topic of discussion this lovely holiday Monday.
Manly expectations.
As sexist as this will sound, so sue me, there are simply things that I think men should do. I'm not saying I CAN'T do them. I'm saying I don't want to.
Grilling is one of them. (I can do this. But I don't know if my life insurance will cover death by briquet.)
Changing a tire. (Once again...capable. But this is why I have AAA.)
Roofing of any sort. (Don't like heights.)
Plumbing. (Don't like dealing with sh*t and/or pipes.)
Any sort of automobile issue. (OK. Watching a guy work on a car does it for me. *grins*)
Lawncare. (I've mowed the lawn and done weedeating for several years. But the sight of a guy with a weedwacker? Rowr. Think that's phallic in some sort of subconscious way? *snicker*)
And just because I'm a voyeur...I love to watch a man:
Wash a car
Stroke a guitar.
Ride a horse or motorcycle.
Do any type of construction.

I'm off to risk life and limb to furnish my chickens with sustenance. Enjoy your Memorial Day!


Rene said...

OMG, we are peas in a pod. I'm totally with you. I think I've barbecued once. Even in college I'd find a guy to do it. I figure it is like peeing standing up. A woman can do it if she must, but it is awkward and messy. Men are built for it.

Ceri said...

Hello sister!!! I hate grilling. Like you, I can do it, but I don't think I should do it. I cook in the kitchen. Why should I have to cook outside?? I have an email that I should send you regarding this. :)

Hope you had a wonderful holiday.

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Hope you survived the grilling! :-) Happy Memorial Day!

Danica/Dream said...

Sadly, my man isn't a griller. I am. But he does all the other manly things around here, like killing spiders, snakes, and whatnot.

Tori Lennox said...

there are simply things that I think men should do. I'm not saying I CAN'T do them. I'm saying I don't want to.

TWINS!!! Hope the grilling went well. :)

Bryan said...

I love to cook on a grill. I can't stand dusting. Besides, that little French maid outfit does nothing for my legs.

Seriously, this whole theme actually became a scene in my current WIP. It's genetic. Takes a man back to the good old days... when we were still living in caves.

Crystal Jordan said...

I like to grill, but I'm SO with you on all that other stuff. And WATCHING a man do manly things. Nice!