Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Me: To a "T"

Main Entry: an·ti·so·cialPronunciation: "an-ti-'sO-sh&l, "an-"tI-
Function: adjective
Date: 17971 : averse to the society of others : UNSOCIABLE
2 : hostile or harmful to organized society; especially : being or marked by behavior deviating sharply from the social norm - an·ti·so·cial·ly /-sh&-lE/ adverb

This is me. Antisocial. And I'm baaaaaaaad. In the real world, you know-when my ass isn't in this seat "working", I don't get out and socialize. I shun the phone. Shun it. Hate it. Loathe every wire attached to it. Ours is not a pretty relationship.

I find myself working my ass off to write. This only makes sense. It is, after all, my chosen profession. But I also find myself avoiding people. Like the plague.
And this is awful. I KNOW THIS. I accept this. And I feel like crap because of it.
There are a lot of good people in my life that I simply MUST find time to carve out for them. I'm not talking the chickens. They TAKE the time. LOL And so do I. I'm talking about some of my friends.
I have a friend who I recently semi-reconnected with. She's called me three times. Have I returned her calls? No. Been busy. Pitiful, huh? My nose is so far down to the grindstone, it's flat at the end.
There's another friend I desperately need to call. Have I? See the pattern? And then there's the thought that maybe I'm disturbing their lives or something. (See? Told you I need professional help)
I don't want to leave the house. I want to write. I'm like some crazed lunatic jonesing for a literary fix. Me=serious help. heh

Ya know...I'm sure the cord stretches that far. It has to. I mean, I've shopped before. No repercussions. And get this...the free massage certificate my sister gave me for my expires in like TWO MONTHS. I need to schedule an appointment before I miss out.
I know I have tunnel vision. ESPECIALLY when it comes to my writing. But do y'all get like this? Or am I the only antisocial one?


Silma said...

*plays Anthrax's "Anti Social" in the background* Nah, writers are all like that - especially when the Muses are working over time. We just bring out our "social" masks when they're promoting their books. *lol*

Tori said...

You are SO not alone! I'm seriously antisocial. My parents don't understand it at all which only makes me want to be even more antisocial. *g* It's so much easier to be social online.

Michelle said...

What I think is interesting is how many writers are sparkling and fun "online," and when you meet them in person, it's not the same. Sometimes it's a matter of comfort, and once you get to know them, it's better. But in the beginning it can be awkward.

chryscat said...

Silma: Well, isn't that the truth? LOL
Tori: Well put. I wonder why that is. People? I can take 'em or leave 'em. Such as it is.
Michelle: WHAT? Really? Oh man. I hope y'all don't think I'm sparkling and fun. Think moody and ornery. That way I don't have great expectations to live up to. *laughing*

username said...

I'm a what you see is what you get, iow, the same online as in RL. *g* The same perky cynic--Daria, but older and as a wife and mom.

It's called carving a time out to be social. I have certain times when I gab on the phone. Generally, it's the same time I'm cleaning, so I'm getting two things done at once. After I'm done cleaning, I may wrap up a phone call with a cup of coffee and then get off the phone and start writing. No, I don't do it every day, but that's what works best for me.

If it's someone I haven't talked to in a month, then yeah, I'll answer the phone or return the call and work on something other than whatever I was doing on the computer because honestly, it's not always about what's good for me. Sometimes I'm needed as a friend and since my schedule is more flexible than most people's, I'm okay with working around them, as opposed to myself. *g*

Amy said...

I would NEVER choose writing over a massage!!! Never never never! Now, people...well. I think it's part of the price we pay to write. Sometimes I'd like to be more social with the neighbors, other kids' moms, etc. But the fact is, I have work to do, in between kid stuff.

Suzanne said...

Well, I am totally anti-social but I WOULD go to a massage, LOL.

Rene said...

I am SO anti-social. My 20th high school reunion is this weekend and I started to make plans to go then I thought about it. I really never liked these people in the first place. Now, if I were Nora Roberts-famous, I'd go just to be a show off, but I don't think I want to socialize with these people. I covet my free time so much. My kids take up so much of my time that when I am alone, the last thing I want to do is see other people.

chryscat said...

Kel: I am baaaaaad. And antisocial. Dang it.
Amy: I signed up for PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) this year. Behind the scenes, but nonetheless. I'm sure that will be a lot more socializing than I'm used to. SIGH The things we do for our children.
Suzanne: Ayuh. Now I just need to find the certificate on my desk. *rolling eyes*
Rene: I hear you. I think I have three years before my twenty. I haven't been to one yet. And though I may not be at "Nora" level, I plan on going and at least making one appearance. But I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to. I'm not particularly fond of the mass of people from my high school, either.

Lyvvie said...

I really, really want to be antisocial!! But those damned friends and family won't let me! Not to mention the kids...don't get me started on them.

I think this is why I have hives and an ulcer, I just can't tell folk to get lost. I'm not mean. Just "torn between two lovers" you could say...(I wouldn't, but you could. You'll be considered a me, but my shoulders are wide and I can bear the weight. Better not to try.)

My postman waves at me through the window while I type...I now feel if I ignore him, I'll start getting ripped letters and bashed boxes. What's a girl to do?

Jill said...

I'm not only antisocial, I have social anxieties, making being with a group of people really hard for me. We joke that it's a good thing I'm a writer because I'm uniquely qualified to do nothing else but be alone, LOL!

username said...

I've never even been invited to a high school reunion.

Does that tell you how anti-social I actually am? *g*

teresa said...

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I have remind myself that I'm getting out for fun so I will actually have it when I feel like I should at the computer writing instead.

chryscat said...

Lyvvie: You strike me as extremely sociable! Very bubbly and personable. paranoia? *laughing* You're a nut!
Jill: EXACTLY! I was just telling my best friend that we authors are a awkward group. I have a hard time thinking of you with anxiety. Is it hard to deal with sometimes?
Kel: It means you're hiding REALLY, REALLY well. heh
Teresa: I know exactly what you're saying. I'm SO glad to know I'm not alone!