Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Directionally impaired

And I'm not talking about my usual. You know, when I go into a store in the mall and come out and have NO idea which way I came from. Not that. At least not right now.

I feel as though I've lost my literary map. My compass is gone. And I'm lost in the vast wilderness of my mind. Spooky, in case you were wondering.
I have not written anything this week besides perhaps a paragraph or two. I did edit a story. But I have not originally written much of anything. And I'm flailing here.
I haven't the foggiest.

I still get flashes of insight for works in progress. I still have creative thoughts about titles and characters. But I don't have the SOMETHING in my right now to pursue it. I've lost my way.
I have a Contemporary Erotic that I'm almost 20,000 words in. I like the way it's going. I'm still pleased with the result. But I cannot seem to grasp hold of the reins again.
I don't think this is a block. I think this is a mouse-in-a-maze type thing. Where's my cheese, I ask? And who the hell is pulling the lever?
I don't do well with frustration.

My other oddity would be that my thoughts have shifted. Just a small sidestep. A shifting of feelings and perceptions. And I think that's what has altered my writing world. And I don't know how to get it back. And even at that, I'm not sure I want to.
I have sat at this damn desk this entire week and done absolutely nothing. (Besides the small edit) And I would rather go walk, get out, or plan my summer. Because I don't do well with all this inactivity. And if I'm not writing, then I'm going to start doing something else.

Also...still looking for the perfect job. We'll see how this one pans out.


Silma said...

I know what you're going through. It's like you're on a low season of writing. Suggestion: Go for a walk. Get out. Maybe your Muses are bored. Poor things, just looking at your office's walls, and the computer. You need to take them out. Air your brain. Maybe it's clogged with boringness. And when you go out, remember to take something to write on or a small tape recorder in case you get inspired. *g*

Michelle said...

Chrys--hang in there. Maybe try writing something you've never tried before? Stretch your brain muscles a little to alleviate boredom? Good luck!

Jill Monroe said...

First - I really feel your frustration from this post and I'm so sorry.

Second, maybe you should do those other things your mind is leading you to. Maybe you're not ready to write the next few scene or finish the book and your subconscious knows this and wants to get you in a good place before you tackle.

Let us know how it goes!

jason evans said...

Maybe something small would get the adrenalin flowing again. A flash fiction piece? Something totally different?

Tori Lennox said...

Oh, sweetie, I know exactly what you're going through. I thought when we moved that a new atmosphere would help my waning creativity. No dice, so far. *sigh* So *hugs* to you for going through the same thing.

Rene said...

Oh, I feel your frustration. I know exactly how you feel and yes it does seem to come from an internal shift in perception. I wish I knew the cure. Maybe you should try writing something totally different?

chryscat said...

All I can say is: I LOVE you guys!!!
Thanks so much!