Saturday, January 14, 2006

Any given group

I've discovered in lo my many years that in any given group...there will be a peacemaker and a troublemaker. There are wide variances in-between, but these two will always be represented.

My baby chicken went to a birthday party/sleepover last night. And yes. There is most definitely a troublemaker in that group. She's not happy unless someone else is unhappy. And if she can say something cruel and much the better. She's 11.

And then when I worked concession last night. At homecoming. For four hours. *ahem* Two boys (whom I ADORE) got into it right behind me. I thought they were wrestling (playing around) at first. Because one had the other in a chokehold of sorts. So I just turned around. Then the father of one of the boys came flying around the corner and broke it up.
Needless to say, I was speechless. These two are good friends. They're good kids.
When I asked around later to see why in the hell they were fighting...I heard it was over a female.
Yeah. You heard me. A female. These children are twelve. But there's a little group of girls that seems to start trouble. And isn't that ridiculous? My sixth graders have already been asked to go on dates. Let me reiterate. IN SIXTH GRADE.

I will consider letting them group date when they are fourteen. Period. And no serious one-on-one dating until they are sixteen. Does that make me a strict parent? Maybe. Will I flex on this? Not at all.
Kids are growing up faster and faster these days. It's my job to be the voice of reason. The voice in their head. WHATEVER IT TAKES! And I will. Whether they like it or not. *laughing*

But back to the group mentality.
This applies to adults, too. And that's a damn shame. I don't know what takes a person and turns them into someone who is happiest when all else are miserable. But I do my damndest to stay away from them.
The peacemaker? Sometimes me. I like to keep the peace. And I'm trying to teach my kids to do the same. However...they also know they don't have to take anything from anybody. The baby chicken informed the girl that it was too bad that the troublemaker didn't want to be at any parties that my baby was at. She was going to miss out on a lot of great parties. *grins*


B said...

Ha! Good little chicken, I like her style! Oh lordy, mine is 8 and she's already boy crazy. What on earth have we gotten ourselves into?

I don't think that's being too strict, sure they're gonna hate you, but that's to be expected. At least they'll be hating you at home, in their rooms, and baby free!! You go mama!


chryscat said...

LMAO! THAT'S what I'm talking about!!!

Tori Lennox said...

Sheesh. When I was in the sixth grade, all I (and the rest of the class) was worried about was surviving the Teacher from Hell.

And good for your little chicken!

Rene said...

Good for your daughter. When my daughter was in kindergarten last year, I could already see who was going to be trouble. And of course they gravitated towards my kid. There was one girl in particular that I knew was going to be a problem and sure enough this year it started. Luckily she moved and I noticed my daughter's school life improved.

I haven't seen too much of the boy/girl issues in my kids' school. But I do know from listening to the kids at Starbucks after school that it really ramps up in jr. high. Not looking forward to it.

chryscat said...

Tori: I KNOW! Sixth grade is way too young to be dealing with these issues. That being younger sister by five years had a girl she knew become pregnant in sixth grade. And that was YEARS ago.
Rene: I'm very proud. *grins*
And I know exactly what you mean about the troublemakers. Our school is tiny. And all of the kids have a lot of interaction together. But there's basically only one class per grade. It rather sucks being stuck with this situation for the next several years.