Saturday, March 05, 2016

Finding an Agent AKA Damn it! This is a great story!!!

Hello out there.

Yes.  I see you.  You're a writer.  You have voices in your head and calluses on your fingers and you mumble to yourself when you're really feeling it.
Grand, isn't it?
That rush when you're in the zone.  The feeling of all cylinders clicking away while you tap tap tap until the voices fade, and all you have is harmony.
Until you finish.
The End.
Now.  Take a moment there.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Because that, my friend, was the easy part. Bleeding over verb usage and dialogue tags and passive writing was just an appetizer.  Now you're about to get down to it.
You are going to look for an agent.
Don't hide your eyes.  That sentence isn't going anywhere.  And neither will your story.  Unless you find an agent.
They're mystical creatures that can make or break a writer's heart from a thousand miles away with one simple email that starts out, "We're sorry..."
Dry your eyes.  Toughen up.  How hard can it be?

Let me learn you a thing or two.
This writing business is hard as hell and twice as nasty.  You will be asked to divvy up your literary delight in so many ways that you'll hardly recognize it.  Because each agent has different wants and needs for their business.
I can respect that.
Out of seventeen different agents, not ONE will want the same thing as another.  I guarantee it. Some want a synopsis and bio.  Then the first five pages.  Wait.  The first ten pages.  Writing history. Qualifications.  First three chapters.  First fifty pages.  One page synopsis.
If you have any hair left, you can pull it out now.
I have so many damn tabs open in Microsoft Word right now my eyes are beginning to cross.
No one said it would be easy.
Thank God.
Because I'd be tempted to beat that liar's ass.

Good luck to you.
I've always said it.
Good stories find a home.
Now make it so.

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