Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Seven more?

Apparently the Pope has decided to add seven more sins to the "deadly" list.
I'm thinking the first seven kind of covered it, but I suppose he thought he needed to be a little more 2008 with it.
And so, I decided I must add to this "deadly" list. For the sake of us all, my friends.
In no particular order:
1. Thou shall NOT wear a mullet. (I don't care if you've got flowers sprouting out of a toilet on your porch. Cease and desist.)
2. Thou shall NOT have dark roots with blond (lighter) hair. (It's called Clairol. I don't care if you're worth it or not. Try the stuff.)
3. Thou shall use proper hygiene products. (You don't have to smell like a walking perfume ad, but for the love of God, don't smell like roadkill.)
4. Thou shall not tailgate, cut someone off in traffic and then turn, or drive 40 in a 75 mph zone. (This causes me to break some of the first deadly sins.)
5. Thou shall kiss your chickens even when they drive you completely batshit. (OK. This is kinda personal. And I don't know if you even HAVE chickens, but the same rule applies for significant others and parents.)
6. Thou shall NOT employ a comb over. (Bald is better. Sexy even. Check out Bruce Willis. purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
7. Thou shall accept thyself as imperfect. (Do it. Accept it. Rock on.)

OK. That covers it for me right now. I'm sure more will come to me later.
And just in case you forgot the first seven:


Rene said...

Totally agree with you.

Lyvvie said...

Number seven is way too hard! You can't be serious!ok...I'll try. And I'll kiss my chickens too. Here chickie chickie...stop running away! Darn chickens always run away...Stop giggling at me or it's the naughty step for you!