Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Breaking the rules...and getting away with it

Yeah. I admit it. I'm a rule-breaker. And I like it. I also have a lot of respect for other rule-breakers.
Those mavericks of the writing world. The literary liberators who snap the rules and bend perceptions.

Dexter, new show on Showtime, actually has a hero (and I use the term loosely) who is a serial killer. Who thought that up? Was he/she freaking out about the fact that it may not be received well? I doubt it. Because the idea beckoned to him/her.

Does Mary Janice Davidson lose sleep at night because she has a vampire heroine who can stand sunlight, has been staked, and squicks out at the thought of sucking blood? Nah.

New writers are heavily cautioned against bucking the system and writing out on a limb. Heaven forbid they step outside that damn box. *snort*

There was a show back in the eighties called "V." It was about aliens who came to earth. The only alien I can remember was Robert Englund as the one alien who was a vegetarian.

Dare to be different.

Form is one thing. Content is another matter entirely.
I'm off to buck the system.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I have a teenage daughter

She turned thirteen yesterday.
How did this happen?

Okay. Smartasses. I KNOW how this happened. But good God! Where has the time gone?

Wasn't she just in Pre-K the other day? Sitting in the sand and making pasta pictures?
And now she's talking about a license and a job. And most of her years with me are gone. She's thirteen. A teenager. And now she'll be working on spreading those wings and becoming the wonderful woman I know she will be.

The one absolutely brilliant part of yesterday was that I would break out in song while we were shopping. The ENTIRE day. Oh yes. *grins* The "Happy Birthday" tune came out frequently and at high volume.
Wal-Mart. The Game Stop. Cato. The Dollar Tree. Parking lots. Anywhere. Everywhere.
*sigh* Good stuff.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The best little whorehouse in Pompeii

Apparently there is a lovely brothel in Pompeii that is being restored to the tune of over a quarter of a million dollars.

I'm not a conservative individual, but I'm astounded by this.

"Among the buildings was the two-story brothel with 10 rooms -- five on each floor -- and a latrine. Each room on the ground floor bears a fresco of a different sex scene painted over its door -- possibly suggesting the prostitute's specialty." Who needs a business card when your *ahem* speciality is painted on your door?

The prostitutes were slaves. And all the money (EIGHT times the cost of a portion of wine) went to their John. Gee. Just the kind of place I'd like to check out on a sightseeing tour.
Now. I'm not downplaying the importance of the artifacts. I believe it's an important view into the ancient world.
But, oh boy, what a view.

I guess what happens in Pompeii...is available for the world to see at roughly a quarter of a million dollars.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

My cat is the Nellie Olsen of the feline world

Allie adopted us. Let's get that straight from the get-go.
The tabby simply wandered up from the fields and proceeded to eat everything she could get her mouth on near the porch.
Then we decided to bring out a cup of cat food.
And yes. I do take full blame and responsibility for that. *sigh* It's that ol' hindsight-foresight thing. Damn it.

So we take her in. She is little. Scrawny. And obviously has no social skills.
I'm not simply talking about with other cats. I'm talking NO SOCIAL SKILLS. Her idea of affection is to bite the bejeezus out of whomever is petting/touching her at the time. Seriously. And if you put your hand down BY her when she's eating...she'll scratch you with her nails.

Then she comes into heat. And I'm thinking...Whoa! We'll let her have one litter of grandkittens, I'll litter-train them, then we'll have her fixed. Except for she has kittens and has NO concept of what to do with them. They all die. Which was extremely hard for me to deal with at the time.
But Allie is simply not equipped.

So we keep her in until we can shuffle her to the vet. And WARN the secretary at the vet's office that Allie is um...not quite right. She takes the info.
We go back to pick Allie up the next day and apparently they had written "Dangerous!" on her carrier, and she hissed at the nice secretary lady. *sigh* Yeah. She's a bitch kitty.
The vet said he didn't have a problem but asked if we REALLY wanted her.
Makes one wonder, doesn't it?

But this is not my problem. In fact, she's calmed down considerably. She's a good house kitty. But therein lies the problem. She's not the ONLY house kitty. She was the last adopted and one would think that would put her at the bottom of the totem pole. Ah...not so.

Pumpkin (whom I adore) was our first. Then Sir Phillip Thomas (who after being snipped is hereby referred to as Thomasine by me), then Toby. Allie will put up with Toby. Even though she beats the shit out of him on a daily basis. But it's simply playing.

She catfights with Thomasine (who was a lover and not a fighter, anyway) and Pumpkin.
To say this pisses me off would be putting it mildly. I will NOT leave my other kitties outside in the cold nastiness while bitch kitty lays on a warm bed in front of a heater.
Hell. No.

So now I wonder if there's an easy fix for this or if I just need to google "kitty shock collar."

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Insert madness

This post brought to you in the most roundabout way by Romancing the Blog (sidebar at left.)

I loathe inserts. LOATHE them. When I pick up a magazine and half its weight is comprised of those nasty little rectangular pieces of joy, I see red. Then I proceed to rip out each and every damn one.
That's been my pet peeve with Harlequin for decades. (Yeah, decades. I was a precocious teen.) Sure, it's great to win a free book or three...but at what price? Everytime I pick up the damn book to read, it flips open to THAT SPOT! Grrrrrrrrrrr

Then others hopped on the bandwagon. Sure. Get right on with that. Put in sixteen ways to become a subscriber or buy the latest doll that supposed to look like a real baby but in actuality scares the hell out of me because she looks like something that could go wrong at a rapid rate of speed. Very, very wrong.

I do NOT want forty-six catalogs sent to my house. My God! Do NOT send a packrat catalogs. I could order stuff from 1982 because I HAVE that issue. (It's a sickness. But I think I have it under control now. heh)
Okay. It's not THAT bad. But honestly, how many trees have to die for an issue of Cosmopolitan? Hundreds? Thousands?
There are saplings shivering in their dirt because they KNOW what fate will befall them. And it ain't pretty.

Put out money for a full page advertisement. Actually pay postage for catalogs that tell us ALL about your merchandise.
But QUIT flippin' sabotaging me and my reading pleasure!!!
And when it's in the middle of a good part?
Oh. My. God.
These "so-called" advertisers need to be shot. How can you read about the goodies when you're interrupted with an ad about something totally off the subject? And then you have to flip back. And then forward. Just to remember who was doing what to whom?
Despicable. Totally reprehensible.

Rant off.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The Doctor

Okay. Yeah. I'll admit it. I'm a pretty cool customer. If George Clooney or Hugh Jackman were to stroll into my place of business...I would be calm. Seriously. Unless Hugh was wearing Wolverine costume. Then all bets would be off. hehehe

But I am FANATICAL about Dr. Who. Really.
Okay. I KNOW it's David Tennant. I KNOW these things. I realize that the TARDIS is a simple police box. I KNOW the words are scripted. I can be a fairly logical human being. But I swear to God, if that man walked into my work, I would squeal like a schoolgirl and probably swoon. Swoon, I tell ya! And I do NOT squeal. Just so you know. And swooning? Nope. Never have.
This show rises so far above all other television shows that I simply can't make a reasonable comparison.
Children are not allowed to come into my room during this program. If they do, they are taking their collective lives into their own hands. Seriously. *nodding* This is common knowledge in my domicile.

I. Love. This. Show.

It's the character. Here is a man who holds the Universe in his hands. Not human. But more human than some we share the planet with. Compassionate. Funny. Mysterious. Wounded.
And good Lord! He's an incredible character. Delightful. And heaven knows I'm wondering right now who I can bribe/blackmail/harm/help to get to visit the set one day.
Do they have protective orders in England?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The common cold

Yeah, right.
Nothing common about me wanting to unscrew my head from my shoulders and toss it as far away as possible from the rest of me.
Oh. My. God.

I have a sinus headache from hell. And I'm sneezing. And some damn germ from purgatory has decided it wants to live in my nose. Bastard.

I woke up every two hours last night and finally gave up the ghost at seven this morning and got up. Never mind it was my ONE DAY OF THE WEEK to sleep in. Nah. Screw that.
When one cannot breathe...one cannot sleep. And there was no air circulating through my nostrils. Sorry for the visual. heh

So now I'm a whiny butt with a sinus headache who keeps sniffling. Geez. Talk about the height of pitifulness. Seriously. And I have to work until nine this evening.
Oh. And did I mention the computers still aren't up? And that we have work piled sky high? I didn't?
Well. We do.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Yeah. That's my subconscious. It has that annoying habit of chanting NOW NOW NOW just about every second of every day. Rare is the day that it simply shuts the hell up.

I'm a "RIGHT NOW" kind of individual. And this has been dialed down from my manic NOW NOW NOW mindset. Seriously. I'm still wound tight...just not as tightly.

Please don't mistake my mindset for high maintenance. Two entirely different beasties. I wouldn't know fashion if it bit me on the ass. No idea which styles are "in." Don't care, quite honestly. But if I did know or care, I would want them RIGHT NOW. *laughing*

Today we are without computers. And to tell the truth, I kind of like it. In this "right now" world, I catch myself saying..."hold on a minute." (The devil may be donning ice skates as you read this. You just never know.)
And I simply take my time to get all the information and then move on to the next person. Not a bad day whatsoever.

And totally OFF the subject...Things that I know that I really don't need to know.
1. Sara Evans is getting divorced because her man is addicted to porn and a piece of shit.
2. Madonna adopted a child.
3. Nicole and Paris are friends again.

Now you know these worthless things, too.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Necessary evil

I refer, of course, to our work computers.
Temperamental pieces of technology at best. But even I would take temperamental to non-functioning.
We have a computer upgrade tomorrow that will probably last ALL DAY.

Let me explain.

We use our computers continually all day long. To run this business. And with that in mind...we will now be writing everything down by hand. Getting my drift?

So. I'm getting my blogging licks in now because I'll probably have carpal tunnel tomorrow. *sigh* Isn't that treatable with ice cream?

Monday, October 16, 2006

You mess with the bull...

...you eat the canvas.

We took the chickens to Frontier City Saturday. It's Oklahoma's answer to Six Flags. In fact, the same company owns it.
And the first thing the chickens want to do is ride THE MECHANICAL BULL. Except baby chicken. Who looked at her siblings like they had lost their collective minds. Which, in fact, is never far off from the truth.
But I digress.

It's five bucks per child to watch them hop on the bull and let the ride operator flail them around like rag dolls. Let me just say...they are charging WAY too little. *evil grin*
I laughed until I hurt. Oldest chicken and boy cracked me up. They couldn't quite get the motion. Middle chicken went to mount the bull and totally flew over it the first time. Oh. My. God. I thought I was going to wet my pants.
So. We're cackling, and they're all giving it a go. And I have to say, money well spent.
Sure, we rode some rides. All that good stuff. They played. But the bull?
I will never forget watching them mount up like it was their sole purpose in life and then getting their heiney knocked for a loop about four seconds later. But I give it to them...they got right back on.
Hats off.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

How 'bout some Christmas Candy?

Whiskey Creek Press Torrid is putting out a lovely collection of holiday stories this Christmas. Okay. Lovely may not be QUITE the right word. How about naughty? *grins* Yeah. I'll stick with that.
Here's the cover:

My story is "Elf Mistress." I had a great time writing it. Nothing like a little Noel naughtiness to warm up those chilly evenings.

Wicked grins*

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Acclimation can be a bitch

I'm just now finding those crevices of time that I took for granted before. Sad, isn't it?
I've finally figured out times of the day when I can write. And although I'm not writing nearly as much as I did...I'm still doing pretty damn good.
I blog, when I can, on my break.
I write at lunch. So far...between 500 and 1200 words per day. All depends on how fast I eat and how easily the story comes.
I work on the story I want to pitch at RT while I'm at work. It's found it's own little special spot here. Fascinating, that.

I only have three right now that I'm really concentrating on. If I don't finish PFP soon...I will lose what's left of my mind. And no. I'm not being facetious. *grins*

My desk is a sad, sad testament to my struggle to find the balance for time. And then the chickens simply insist I drop everything and actually keep them in clothes and food. I mean, really! That must have been in the fine print on the birth certificates. *muttering to self*

An interesting turn of events...Perfect Timing is now in the Top Ten Hot Titles for this month at Whiskey Creek Press. Again. Even though it came out in February. Hmmmmmm.
I like it.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Habla Espanol?

I don't. Wish that I did. I can only pick out a few phrases and words.
But Saturday night I couldn't find anything to watch and began to channel-surf. Lo and behold...Underworld was on. I vaguely knew it was about werewolves and vampires. And the chickie who stars in it had a kick-ass outfit. Other than that...not so much.
So I flip over, and it's in the middle of a big fight scene. Pretty cool. People transforming and such. Eight minutes later, a character opens her mouth, and out pops...Spanish.

I blink. Squint. Blink again.
Then realize I've tuned into Telemundo, I believe. (Apologies if I'm wrong on the name.)
Did I already mention that there was NOTHING on?
So I watched it. Almost the entire movie. In Spanish. And to tell the truth, it was fascinating.
Did I get the plotline? Sure. The emotions? You betcha. I didn't need all the frivolous dialogue. I paid attention to body language. A LOT. Voice inflections. All that.
And I came to realize that I quit listening to the words, so to speak. I began to use my eyes more. To catch something that would tell me more than mere words. A look. A tear. Eyes widening. Glaring. Bodies moving from one position to the next. Open. Or defensive.
Quite a little lesson. Not to mention a movie that wasn't half bad.

What else did I learn? Well...Deal or No Deal in Spanish is "Vas O No Vas."

Friday, October 06, 2006

Just a nod

I'll tell you what I like. *wink* The PG version.

A nod.

When Bon Jovi sings a new song but gives a nod to an old one. When a book respectfully reminds us of another character. Another couple.
I'm not talking about a series. That's a different story entirely.
A nod.

Just a little tip o' the brim to another artist. A reminder of someone or something else that brings a memory to the forefront. A sense of nostalgia for some. A simple sign of respect for another.
Some singers sample songs. Most are absolutely dynamic. A way to blend two into one that's stronger and more ear-catching.
Just a nod.
Makes a difference.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Release schedule 2007 (so far)

Hello my lovelies!

I'm at dinner at work and decided to take the opportunity to share my release schedule for 2007. I don't get off work until nine. And well, I just don't really see me blogging at that point. Or thinking in any way, shape, or form in general.

February 2007-Whiskey Shots-Whiskey Creek Press-eformat only
Two stories..."Out of the Shadows" and "Into the Shadows" (Crystal Inman)

July 2007-Whiskey Creek Press-Book one in four book Guardian series-ebook and paperback
Fire Goddess (Crystal Inman)

August 2007-Torrid Teasers-Whiskey Creek Press Torrid-eformat only
Two erotic romance short stories..."Moon Goddess" and "Sun Goddess" (C'ann Inman)

December 2007-Whiskey Creek Press-Book two in Guardian series-ebook and paperback
Water Goddess (Crystal Inman)

I have PFP (Full-length erotic romance) that I NEED to finish. ASAP!!!!
I'd like to squeeze that in this year. Plus, I'm working on a story to pitch at RT 2007. *rubbing hands together*
I can't WAIT!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

By threes...a deduction

I have discovered:

that at the end of the day, I sit three inches lower in my driver's seat than I do in the morning when I leave for work.

that I lose approximately 3% of my total IQ at 5:30 pm.

that three of my children at any given time will need SOMETHING from Wal-Mart.

that three of my cats will drag something dead onto my porch and strut like they've won the Pulitzer.

that I will miss three of my favorite shows. You guessed it...three days in a row.

that I have to say something three times before middle chicken hears it.

that I have to drink three Diet Pepsis before I feel remotely human. Emphasis on "remotely."

that I will tell myself three times that I need to go Christmas shopping before I'll actually flippin' do it.

It's my manic motif.

Thanks to everyone for the lovely congrats! It was a great review, and I'm rather proud.

Monday, October 02, 2006

There's a fine line...

between love and Hate.

Excerpt of a review for Hate An Anthology:
Stories of hate and betrayl, murder and lies, this collection is packed with some truly memorable characters embarking on journey’s that will change their lives forever. This anthology is definitely a good read.

And for my individual story...
What Goes Around by Crystal Inman. One of the shining gems of this collection, Ms. Inman paints a picture of evil and revenge like I’ve never read. This short story was perfect. Drugs, sex, murder and family… brilliant.


See? I'm good when I'm bad, too. *wink*