Wednesday, April 20, 2016

My commute

They're doing construction on the highway I take to and from work.  That tacks another twenty minutes or so to my already hour drive.
This is basically what it's like every day:

Welcome to my morning commute.
1. If you're are going 45 mph and attempting to merge onto a highway that is going 65 mph, perhaps you don't realize you're totally screwing the 11 people behind you. I hate you. I realize "hate" is a strong word.
That's why I used it.
2. If you cut in front of me in your small car, barely missing my front bumper, because you couldn't wait 60 seconds for me to pass and get behind me, then proceed to drive slower than I was to begin've earned a spot in automotive hell. I've already booked you a room.
3. If you think that driving a large farm truck or semi grants you the right to drive like a bat out of hell, 20 mph over the speed limit, you, sir, are a douche.
4. If you move to the passing lane so you can pass a semi and then proceed to drive next to it for two miles, my disdain for you cannot be adequately put into words. But the words "fuck you" have a nice ring to them.
5. If you weave in and out of traffic without using your blinker/indicator/light that flashes on and off and tells people your intentions, turn in your license immediately and satisfy your idiocy playing Pole Position.
6. If you cut in front of me and slow down, I will ride your bumper like Seabiscuit. Saddle up, bitch.


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