Sunday, July 04, 2010

Relationship Chameleons

I have a couple people I know who are pulling this right now. Morphing into something the person that they're seeing wants. Forsaking sense of self for someone else's pleasure/opinion.
This bothers me.
First of all, let's take into consideration that if you don't know who YOU are...then how in the hell can you offer anything to someone else?
Second of all, if you DO know who you are...then why in the hell are you forsaking that for someone else?
Third of all, if you're forsaking pieces of yourself to make another happy...then you're selling yourself supremely short. And if you sell yourself short, my friends, you'll always find a buyer.
Compromise is one thing. Full-blown martyrdom is bullshit.
A relationship is two whole beings fitting together to make something beautiful while still retaining self.
It's not puzzle pieces from two different puzzles mashed together to try and fit when it obviously doesn't.
I'm reminded of the Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. (They should have stuck with Pretty Woman...just saying).
Julia Robert's character lost herself so completely when she was with her partner du jour that she hadn't a clue who she really was. If they liked scrambled eggs, then so did she. Whether she really did or not.
That's overwhelmingly sad.
Each person has an infinite value unto his/herself. This value should magnify when with the one he/she professes to love. It shouldn't diminish.
No one said it was easy.
But, damn it, it's worth it. And so are you.

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