Mental concussion

I'm really quite tired of butting heads with people.

Baby Chicken has decided that she can pretty much do and say whatever she wishes. And she believes that the world is out to get her, and I'm just a parental witch who is mean, mean, mean.
That's rough, isn't it?
I understand that being twelve is no picnic. Been there. Done that. No, it wasn't a party. But a child does NOT have the right to utterly stonewall EVERYTHING that the parent says or does. Sorry. It doesn't work like that. Nor should it. That would be the point of being the CHILD. Therefore, bed time is early for the next two weeks until school starts. If things don't shape up before then, more drastic measures will be taken.
I hate it.

On the relationship front, I thought there was progress. I think, perhaps, I may have been wrong. Nothing like having someone judge me. Let me just say that it's one of the quickest ways to step all over my nerve and my emotions.
I don't judge. So the option is not out there for others. I don't like it. I won't put up with it.

I'm highly frustrated this evening and seriously just wondering...what the blue fuck???
Send hugs.
Crystal*

I wanna be Jet Li, and Nora Roberts needs to quit reading my mind.

It may look like two utterly disimilar items, but trust me...these are the two that occupied my head yesterday.

Jet Li. Isn't he just the flippin' coolest? And he seems to be very busy this year with movies. Every time I turn around, there he is. But what really fascinates me about him is that "bored" look he has. I want that. I want to PERFECT that. I'm really wondering if it's the "Gee, I'm so damn good I can kick your ass and not break a sweat" look...or if he's really bored. Everything just seems to roll right the hell off of him. I find it entertaining to say the least. Maybe it's all that martial arts training where he's just so damn mellow because he's trained to be. Or supposedly emotionless in a fight so that his opponent doesn't get an upper hand.
Whatever the case, I love it.
*bored look*
lmao

As for Nora Roberts...WOMAN! Quit reading my mind. Seriously. This must cease and desist. *grins*
I didn't even know Nora had another book due out before The Pagan Stone in December. But lo and behold...Tribute arrived at the library Thursday. I, of course, picked it up. It's almost a cross-genre, but that's neither here nor there. The clinker for me is that the heroine was a child actor.
ARGH!!!
And what is the heroine in Earth Goddess? A child actor!!! Are you kidding me? grrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrr and grrrrrrrrrr some more.
Now. I was only a little irritated when I brainstormed and decided to title books after flowers. And then you did that with Red Lily and that whole series. I've even forgiven you for making Roarke the hottie-delicious-wet dream hero that he is for your JD Robb books. Never mind that I've had that name for a hero since college and even penciled it in my notebooks. Nope. No one can outdo your Roarke.
Because seriously. Rowrrrrrrrrr
I've let bygones by bygones. But Nora...please stay out of my head.
*GRINS*

One Enchanted Evening Review

From Simply Romance Reviews:
SRR GRADE: A-
Ivy Daniels is your ordinary woman. She fights with the copier at work and plants her gardens, going about her everyday life until she gets an invitation to a party. Not just any party...but one where she magically becomes her favorite fairytale figure, Beauty. She attends the party where every guest is dressed as their favorite character from story and nursery rhyme. She returns home, thinking it was all one big dream but suddenly she finds a gremlin in her copier and fairies in her garden.
Events progress until Ivy is taken back to that enchanted land and finds out all is not well in the land of fairy tales. Crystal Inman gives us the tale of a woman, who prophecy tells will save the land of fairy tales and does a beautiful job of incorporating all of my child hood favorites, from the Old Lady in the Shoe to Snow White. What struck me most about this book was that our heroine, Ivy Daniels was not just a woman who didn't realize how great she was but that she was also not physically perfect. Ivy's self depreciating attitude stems from her slightly rounded belly and not quite perfect hair. It was very refreshing to have a hidden beauty that was truly hidden. I turned page after page, finishing this book in under a day as I followed Ivy on her quest to find out who was destroying the land of dreams. She meets all manner of fairy tale creatures, both good and bad. Her uncertain relationship with the Prince Duncan, while frustrating to the man and at times the reader was true to life and her self image.
If you like fairy tales and long to believe in the world of magic then One Enchanted Evening is definitely the book for you.
~Reviewed by Tonie

I had the best time EVAH!!!

Oh yes. It's true. Took off for Iowa and had one of the best times of my life. And most certainly the best time in recent memory.
The drive was around twelve hours with numerous bathroom breaks and whatnot. Left at 5:00 am Thursday morning. I am sooooooooooooo not a morning person. Arrived around 5:30 pm that evening. It really wasn't that bad.
Arrived at the hotel. Said hello to K. *grins*
Unloaded the mega van. And thank God it IS a van. Because I swear to one and all that all our stuff would NOT have fit in something smaller.
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So not kidding about this one.
We settle in. Grab some pizza. Chill out. The girls go and swim. And did I mention that the hotel had an indoor pool? Oh yeah. Baby chicken was all about the water.
K and I caught up. It was absolutely lovely.
Then...as I'm mentally unfit to carry on any further conversation...I fall asleep. Further events from that night will not be discussed due to their delicate nature.
LMAO
Friday, we went to the zoo in Illinois. Watched "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in 3D glasses. I think we ate at Applebee's that night. Saturday was shopping and watching "Wanted." That movie is a little iffy, but the girls enjoyed it. Great action. I'm all about the HEA. And it sort of had one, but not really. Ya know? "Journey" was fantastic!!! The girls said a couple of times they actually had to take their glasses off. *snickering*
Yeah. It was THAT real.
Oh! And btw, the BIG theater here in town is an eight. You can have eight movies showing at once. The one we went to in Iowa had EIGHTEEN!!!
I look at the monster building and mutter...Holy crap. That is soon echoed by Oldest Chicken as she glances out her window and sees what I see. It's a HUGE building. All flashy and pretty inside.
Quite excellent.
And we go shopping. And it's a lot of fun, but holy criminey I am TIRED!!! But the chickens are eating it up. They get new clothes and school stuffs and all that.
Spoiled, I tell ya. Flat spoiled.
I'll try and post pictures sometime later. I don't have them on this computer.
But all in all...it was the best thing I've done in quite some time for myself and more than worth everything I did to get there.
Yep.
Already planning my next one.
Grins*

Who's going on vacation? Oh yeah!!! That would be me me me!!!

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Will this summer ever end? Not bloody likely. *groan* We've been busier than hell at work. Nerves are frayed. People are just so damn tired, and we're so freakin' busy!
How long has it been since Crystal has been on a vacation?
Too
Damn
LONG!!!
So. Me and the chickens are headed up to the Northeast. I'm a tad bit freaked out (scared shitless) because I've been west but navigated in that general direction. *sigh* And I'm directionally impaired. *double sigh*
But I can't wait to get there!!! Going to be visiting and hanging out with a marvelous friend and kindred spirit.
Leaving early tomorrow morning and will be back on Sunday!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Um...never mind.
lmao
Grins*

DON'T EVER GET INVOLVED WITH CRICKET!!!

MONEY GRUBBING
EVIL
FUCKSTICKS

That's all you hear here in Oklahoma. Cricket is coming. It's a new phone place. Half the price of its competitors. So I'm thinking...have to check that out. I drop in Saturday evening a little after five.
I don't need a phone, but I wanted to get the modem so that I could have broadband/high speed yada at my home in the sticks.
So I go in and pay $145 dollars. That was a $35 activation fee, a month of service, and something else. It escapes me.
For one...it took forever. And no. I'm not being facetious. There were two chicks there. One was busy talking to her friends on the phone while the other fumbled through my order and looked at my blankly. Frequently.
The chick with more experience told me that if I returned the modem in one day, that I could have a full refund. If I returned it in two-three days, I could have the $110 back but not the activation fee.
I'm well with that.
So I get the modem home. Pop the CD that came with it in my laptop. And all is well. Until I try to activate it.
It wouldn't activate.
I become frustrated. So I call Customer Service. My frustration level rises. I can't understand the girl I'm connected with. And then she keeps repeating this number to me so I can call it.
Let me just say...if you dial 1-800-Cricket and try to GET a customer service person...good fucking luck. Won't happen. It will tell you that it can't understand you and HANG UP ON YOU!!! I'm not kidding.
How poor of a customer service ethic IS THAT???
So I'm like...screw it. I'll take it back.
The store is closed Sunday. So I go back in Monday at lunch and explain that I couldn't get the modem to activate, and I want my full refund.
Um...yeah.
Apparently...I had to take it back THE SAME DAY to get the full refund.
I am not remotely amused.
I look at the girl (oh yeah...it's the same two dumbasses) and say...you told me one day. She said...I meant the same day.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
OH! And I forgot to mention that they told me it would be a $40 flat fee. But when I got my paperwork, it was $40.55. One of the girls said...Cricket is a "green" company so there is a charge. NO ONE said that upfront!!! Not a damn word. But let's stick it to the customer for .55 under the guise of being "green."
Bastards.
So I look at the girl who has now reneged on her word and said, "You know. You do whatever it takes to make you feel better."
She quickly hands me my money and probably can't wait to see the back of me.
I will also mention that the woman in front of me was having problems because Cricket debited her account but still swore up and down they didn't.
Caveat emptor.
Yeah. No shit.

(Oh. Forgot to tell y'all that I reported them to the Better Business Bureau of Central Oklahoma.)

HA!

I've done tickled myself

Ok.
You know it. I know it. I'm from Oklahoma. I talk like maple syrup being poured out of a bottle. I have friends who have flowers coming out of toilets on their porch. Yeah. I've seen rednecks. Hell, that's what most of the population IS here.
So as I was researching *cough**cough**surfing the web**cough*, I found something that was so hilarious that I had to share.
So.
I've decided to repost my last post in a specific style. One that I find truly damn funny.
Without further ado...my blog. Redneck style.
****
It's a twisted, twisted wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. Fo'tunately fo' me, it's mine. Welcome.
ah write. ah write on account o' it sestains me. Empowers me. Frees me. ah's sarcastic on account o' it's fun, as enny fool kin plainly see.
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ah LOVE th' Writer's Market.
An' guess whut??? Th' 2009 edishun is out! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! *dancin'*
Oh, yeah. This hyar large book is one of mah favo'ite toys an' resources. An' it highly appeals t'mah office supply/stashunary fetish. *grins*
Eff'n yo' doesn't haf this book, an' yer a writer...GET IT! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! So...um, dawgone it...ah have ev'rythin' colo'-coredinated wif post-it notes.
Etch page ah's interested in is post-ited on th' top of th' page an' then right on over then intry ah wish t'peruse agin.
I've already decided thet when ah finish Earth Goddess (Book Four of th' Elemental Guardian Series) thet ah will seek out an ajunt an'/o' publisher. An' th' book ah wish t'peddle is about ha'fway done. Git me!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! Other than mah Writer's Market fixashun, ah's ponnerin' mah vacashun. Oh yessuh. It's true. ah will be gone th' end of next week an' through th' weekend, cuss it all t' tarnation. How long has it been, yo' ax?
Too
Dawgone
Long
Oldess Possum is in Missouri right now wif Upward Boun'. She's splorin' cavahns an' a-gonna Silvah Dollar City. When she gits home, ah's havin' her backhoe her room, dawgone it.
'Nuff said, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Grins*
****
p.s. I've now officially adopted the saying "Fry mah hide!"
lmaooooooooooooooo

Go here: http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/ and PLAY!!!

Writer's Market

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I LOVE the Writer's Market. And guess what??? The 2009 edition is out!!! *dancing*
Oh, yeah.
This large book is one of my favorite toys and resources. And it highly appeals to my office supply/stationary fetish. *grins*
If you don't have this book, and you're a writer...GET IT!!!
So...um...I have everything color-coordinated with post-it notes. Each page I'm interested in is post-ited on the top of the page and then right over then entry I wish to peruse again.

I've already decided that when I finish Earth Goddess (Book Four of the Elemental Guardian Series) that I will seek out an agent and/or publisher. And the book I wish to peddle is about halfway done.
Go me!!!

Other than my Writer's Market fixation, I'm pondering my vacation.
Oh yes. It's true. I will be gone the end of next week and through the weekend. How long has it been, you ask?
Too
Damn
Long
Oldest Chicken is in Missouri right now with Upward Bound. She's exploring caverns and going to Silver Dollar City. When she gets home, I'm having her backhoe her room.
Enough said.
Grins*

Middle Chicken's Perspective

I remember when we decided to move out into the country. Most of us were excited. Not Middle Chicken.
We arrive at the house and everyone scatters to explore. MC makes a circuit. She starts in the kitchen. Loops through all the bedrooms. This happens about seven times. Finally I stop her.
"What's wrong?"
MC: "Where's the phone?"
"There is no phone."
"WHAT? How am I supposed to call my friends???"
Needless to say, she was disgusted with the whole idea.
Fast forward a bit.
We were watching Dateline NBC or 20/20 or hell...ONE of those news shows. And they were talking about Amish kids.
MC and BC don't have a clue about the Amish. So I proceed to let them know that it's a very old-fashioned existence. They don't have electricity. They don't have music players. They ride in buggies.
MC looks at me very plainly disturbed and says, "Yeah. And they're DYING inside."
I had to laugh.
Must've sounded like the third level of hell to her.
She's always popping off something very clever and snarky. I'll take credit for some of that. But every once in awhile, she'll say something so hilarious, I fear that I will wet my pants.
Case in point: MC and BC were in the living room talking. Just chit-chatting. NOT fighting, thank God. Because that's the norm.
And out of the blue, MC looks at BC and says, "Your hair looks like the Mayor of Whoville."
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This STILL cracks me up.
Never a dull moment, let me tell ya.
Grins*