Monday, December 18, 2006

Oh yes, my friends, there is a Santa Clause

He left a tin of popcorn on my desk today with four candy canes attached. He's also made sure that my kids have a nice Christmas even though other events would suggest otherwise. AND...(because I'm pretty sure my chickens don't read this)...there is a special surprise for baby chicken on the way. Details as the event approaches. But let me just say that my publisher is one of a kind.

I love the spirit of Christmas. And even though I'm not quite ready to *grin* yet...(*wink* @ Bryan)...I think my spirit is a little stronger.
There is a Christmas program tonight for the elementary children, and I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to going to the school and receiving all the glances and whatnot. But I suppose that's part of it all.
I haven't gone back to the site of the house. I've put it off and put it off. And just when I think I have a grip, I find that I don't really.
I want to go during the day. It wouldn't be fair to drive-by in the dark and call it good. I need to actually be able to grieve for the walls that no longer stand and the memories made in the house that linger only in my mind now.

So even though there is still more dark than light...I can see the beams shining down and lighting those dark places. A little bit at a time.

Crystal*

4 comments:

Bryan said...

Crystal,

I'll take winks* for now. One has to work up to it slowly before grins* feel good again.

Don't put off going to the house too long. You'll never be really ready for it. It's going to hurt. But it's still something you need to do.

Take care.

Nienke said...

OMG Chrys, I've just caught up on the news! I'm so sorry to hear about your house, but glad to see you keeping your spirits up. Do the drive by and get it over with. The more you can put behind you the better. Look forward instead!
You're in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Glad to see a post from you. I've been thinking of you and your children. You've all been on my mind.

Amy said...

Crystal, I've had my head in a hole and only just read your news. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the sense of loss. So happy that your community has come through, but I'm sure it's still so hard. Hugs....