Spam--more than a mystery meat

I highly dislike having spam in my email. It irritates me. But there is some major fodder for humor here.

1. Penis enlarger--Let me explain. I don't have one. But if I were ever in the market for one, I would simply go to the Adult Toy Store and pick out whichever size suited me best.
2. Ill person--I'm sorry that you're ill. Really, I am. But it obviously didn't stop you from getting on the computer and mass mailing people in search of monetary gain. Money-grubber, heal thyself.
3. My email won the lottery--Obviously my email and I are very close. I believe I would have known if my email entered something such as this. I'm not buying. Yeah, literally.
4. Verify my paypal account--Bite me. *grins* I don't have one.
5. eBay--I've been on eBay once. And that was to find something for someone else. It confuses me. LOL Better luck next time.
6. Viagra, Oxycotin, narcotics in general--Obviously you are chemically altered if you honestly think I would fork over money to buy a cut product with probably 2% of the original drug in it. Yeah. That'll happen.
7. Webcam offers--That's nice that you're willing to share your goodies with the world at large. However, I won't be viewing them.
8. MySpace adds--If you're going to try and "add me" as a friend, have an inkling about me. Messaging me with "Hi Cute! I think I would be good wit you" makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.
9. Sex with animals--EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DELETE DELETE DELETE
10. re: HI--I drop a line to my friends every now and then. But I guarantee that if I don't recognize your email, such as "xcyttfcm@hotmail"...then you're email won't be seeing daylight.

So keep 'em coming. I know you will. *grins* And I'll keep hitting "delete" while chuckling and wondering why you don't get a real job.
Grins*