Cave Girl?

Please explain to me why the blue hell choosing food has become such a bitch.
After living on sausage balls for nearly a week, I decided...screw this.  So thought I'd do a bit of research and find some more nourishing noshing.
HA
And HA some more

Let's see.  Vegetarian/Vegan?  They suggest using tofu and soy.  But those are "processed".  So that goes against Paleo, right?
And no little cute cartons of egg whites as they are likewise processingarily compromised.
Oh, help me.
Paleo sounds okay, I guess.  I don't mind eating a bit cleaner.  And after looking it up, I'm a bit scared.  Not a fan of root vegetables or "rabbit food".
Now.  I like me a salad.  Don't get me wrong.  Don't care for croutons.  Not a big fan of meat up in there, either.
Simply clean eating?
Um, okay.  But that's a bit of a strict regimen, isn't it?  I'm  not saying I can't live WITHOUT an occasional breaded something.  I'm just saying I shouldn't have to.
Butter vs margarine?
Butter, in all its full fat glory, seems to be healthier than margarine.  Score one for me.  How about ghee?  Should we be purchasing that and using it?  Coconut oil?
*rubs forehead where a nice headache is forming*
And pasta?  I've tried the whole grain.  I...didn't care for it.  So I asked for and received a lovely little tool for Christmas where I can run it down my defenseless zucchini and make "zoodles".  Pretend pasta, if you will.  Still waiting on trying that.  Perhaps this weekend.
Also picked up some spaghetti squash.  Yes.  I love pasta.  But white processed stuff makes me tired.  That's indicative of an allergy, right?
Pass the water.  I think I'm safe there.
Grins*