NaNo NoMo

I'm finished with NaNo. No, I did not write 50,000 words already. *flicking your forehead*
But I'm done.
Before there is some public outreach, let me explain.
I choose to be done. Plain and simple. This was me grasping for asskicking straws so that I would get my butt in gear and write.
Silly, silly me.
It boils down to poor timing.

It's not as if I don't want to write the book I targeted for NaNo. I do. It's the simple knowing that I'm not meant to write this one yet. I need to finish WATS and an Erotic Paranormal. I live my life in the "knowing." It's the feeling I get when I realize that my life is supposed to be a certain way. And this morning, in the shower, where I receive some of my best thoughts, it came to me.
Put NaNo away. Focus on the other two.
And it felt RIGHT.

Now. As the poster girl for changing from "Letting It Happen" to "Making It Happen", I struggled with this. By God, I could do this. Fifty thousand words in a month? Are you kidding me? I wrote 76,000 words in a month minus two days. It's doable for me. I know that.
But not NOW. Now is not the time.

I've been blue of late. Chalk it up to this time of year. I finished Earth Goddess and immediately fueled myself for at least one or two more WIP's. But I shouldn't have. Me coming off a literary high while dealing with the time of year that reminds me of my infant nephew's death, my home burning, and the worst break-up of my life--is a recipe for disaster.
When I finish a book, I want to grab the nearest keyboard and channel all that creativity back into another WIP. But eventually, I need time to regroup.
It hit me hard this time.
I am quiet.
People wonder what's going on with me.
"Crystal" and "quiet" just don't jibe in the same sentence. *smile*
But I need the time to center myself and sort through my projects while still doing research, working, and being the Mama Taxi to my chickens. Then there's projects for school, the holidays, and cooking Thanksgiving Dinner for the family.
I've simply gone inside for awhile.
The good news is that I've stopped the backslide. I feel my batteries recharging and gearing up for the writing.
I simmer while my mind is a million miles away sorting out thoughts and plots.
That's why I'm quiet.
For now.
Don't get used to it.
Grins*